Beds last on an average much longer than marriages. - Michel Houellebecq
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly. - Betty White
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. - Johnny Carson
Marriage does not unite two people; it entangles them. - Abraham Miller
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller
One hundred percent of divorces start with a marriage. - Mark Gungor
People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. - Lee Mildon
Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off. - Unknown
Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King
I am certain there is too much certainty in the world. - Michael Crichton
Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown
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