Of Quips and Quirks

Life can be stressful. We constantly have to deal with our problems, frustrations, irritations and our fears of what tomorrow might bring, what the future holds for us. That is why we have to, once in a while put aside our worries, and have a laugh – at ourselves, at our troubles, and at Life. Laugh and be happy, come what may!

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night - Dave Barry

Ever wonder why there is a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? Apparently, there is more traffic going to hell. - Unknown

A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it's out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows. - Unknown

Everything comes to him who waits – if he waits till it comes. - Evan Esar

People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death. - Jessica Simpson

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Kinky Friedman

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Mary Louise Cecilia

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms; one of them is making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him – who would you assume is in charge. - Jerry Seinfeld

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr

Abandon the search for truth, settle for a good fantasy. - Unknown

Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock. - Evan Esar

Doctors are the same as lawyers, the sole difference being that lawyers only rob you, but doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov