Having a teenage is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses at you when you try to pet it. - Unknown
Nowadays you can’t tell who’s pregnant. Everybody’s stomch is so big. - Unknown
Sometimes, the grass will appear greener on the other side because it has been fertilized by bullshit. - 9 – 5 thoughts
Don’t wait till you’re on your deathbed to tell people how you feel. You might be too weak to hold up your middle finger. - Unknown
I saw a man running and was worried what he was running from but then I remembered some people do that for fun. - Unknown
I’m never sure if I actually have free time, or I’m just forgetting something I need to do. - Unknown
Not to brag, but I don’t even need alcohol to make bad decisions. - Unknown
Who decided to call it ‘emotional baggage’ and not ‘greifcase’? - Unknown
My body is a temple. Ancient, crumbling, and filled with unspeakable horror. - Unknown
My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not. - Unknown
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. - Unknown
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