Humorous Quips

If there is one thing that the world needs more than anything else, it is laughter. The world will definitely be a better place if the atmosphere is ringing with laughter. Laughter does not mean that there is no sorrow, it means that despite the sorrow, people are able to rise above them. Worry will not do you any good. So you might as well laugh and have fun.

I hope the following quips – witty and humorous will bring on a chuckle, or put smile on your face.

Some people see the glass half-full. Others see it half-empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be. - George Carlin

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. - Dame Edna Everage

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year from birth until you fall in love. - Unknown

Some women marry for love, some for money, and some for a home. It is not known why men marry. - Edgar Watson Howe

Someone dying asks if there is life after death. Yes, comes the answer, only not yours. - E. L Doctorow

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. - Jean Kerr

My life is all maths. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying. - Unknown

I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice. - Unknown

Better a bald head than none at all. - Austin O’Malley

Marriage is like a book. The whole story takes place between the covers. - Mae West

One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve become harmless. - Liz Smith

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. - Ellen DeGeneres

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

Please Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won’t spoil me. - Unknown

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ BLOGGER ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thank you for stopping by. Follow me if you like to read about Life, Humour, and Quotes. If you know of someone who might appreciate these posts, do share the link with them. Cheers!