That's Life

It's the weekend. Time to relax and enjoy your break from work, or whatever had been keeping you busy through the week. I hope you have something exciting or interesting planned. Whatever you have in mind, have fun and enjoy yourselves. At the same time, remember to Keep Safe!

To start off your weekend, here are some humorous quips for you. Keep the ones you like in mind and share some laughter with your circle of friends. They will appreciate it. You might become even more popular with them as we all like people who can make us laugh.

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey

Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex. - Woody Allen

It’s all about money, not freedom, You think you’re free? Try going somewhere without money. - Bill Hicks

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. - Doug Larson

Getting old sucks! I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks, now it’s more like a bounced cheque. - Dawn French

If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. - Mickey Mantle

Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them! - Margaret Mitchell

Every jackass thinks he's got horse sense. - Ken Alstad

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. - Will Rogers

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. - Robert Anthony

When man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse. - James Carswell

One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless. - Liz Smith

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it. - Norman MacDonald

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. - Fran Lebowitz

It's unpleasant to play poker with a poor loser, but it's much better than playing with any kind of winner. - Evan Esar

Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches. - Evan Esar

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.90 a minute. - Unknown

It’s a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating. - Regina Griffin

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. - Oscar Wilde

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. - Woody Allen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Have a great day! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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