Monday 16 October 2023

Wacky Humour

Whatever humour works for you, it is great. The important thing is to have a sense of humour. And not to lose your sense of humour no matter how tough life gets. Life is more bearable when you laugh. It has been said that laughter is a prevention against depression, a truly therapeutic agent of positive self healing.

Enjoy today’s selection of humour. I hope they bring on a smile.

Watching football is like watching pornography. There’s plenty of action, and I can’t take my eyes off it, but when it’s over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it. - Luke Salisbury

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success. - Robert Orben

If animals could speak the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now. - Jarod Kintz

Golf... combines two favourite pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. - P. J. O’Rourke

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery. - Dorothy Parker

Here’s to our wives and girlfriends. May they never meet! - Unknown

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. - Unknown

When asked what was the proper time for supper – if you are a rich man, whenever you please; and if you are a poor man, whenever you can. - Diogenes

How do those who contend that woman is the intellectual inferior of man account for the fact that she can give a man a piece of her mind 365 days in the year and still have a huge reserve supply? - Robert Elliot Gonzales

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