Take a look at today’s quips, remember the ones you like and go make your friends laugh. You will be doing mankind a service if you can go around and make people laugh. At the same time, you will make yourself very popular.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. - Groucho Marx
Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. - William Dean Howells
Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. - William Congreve
Doctors are great – as long as you don’t need them. - Edward E. Rosenbaum
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde
Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor
Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already. - Unknown
More people are run down by gossip than by automobiles. - Unknown
I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it. - George Carlin
My friends tell me that I have a tendency to point out problems without offering solutions, but they never tell me what I should do about it. - Daniel Gilbert
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are. - Eleanor Roosevelt
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