It doesn’t matter what kind of humour you indulge in, whether you revel in the coarsest puns or dwell on nihilistic black humour. As long as you engage in this type of activity, you keep your mind working, sharp and nimble.
Take a look at today’s selection of humour. Remember the ones you like and go make your friends laugh. May your days be filled with laughter.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner. You become a vacuum cleaner.
Law of mechanical repair
After your hands become coated with grease, you nose will begin to itch, and you’ll have to pee.
Wife: I think I’m losing my mind!
Husband: That’s because you’ve given me a piece of it every day since we got married.
Them: “What do you do for a living?”
Me: “My best. I do my best.”
The Math teacher asked Johnny, "How many feet are there in a yard?"
Johnny responded, "It depends on how many people are standing in the yard!"
Some axxhole looked at my beer belly in the bar last night and sarcastically asked, “Is that Budweiser or Heineken?”
I said, “There’s a tap underneath it, taste it.”
A woman with a salad walked past me in the restaurant and said, “You know a cow died so you could eat that beefburger.” I said, “If you weren't eating its food it might have lived.” - Unknown
A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. "Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills." - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
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