Differences Between You And Your Boss

When you take a long time, you are slow.

When your boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When you do not do it, you are lazy.

When your boss does not do it, he is too busy.

When you make a mistake, you are an idiot.

When your boss makes a mistake, he is only human.

When doing something without being told, you are overstepping your authority.

When your boss does the same thing, that is initiative.

When you take a stand, you are being bull-headed.

When your boss does it, he is being firm.

When you overlook a rule of etiquette, you are being rude.

When your boss skips a few rules, he is being original.

When you please your boss, you are apple polishing.

When your boss pleases his boss, he is being co-operative.

When you are out of the office, you are wandering around.

When your boss is out of the office, he is on business.

When you are on a day off sick, you are always sick.

When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.

When your boss applies for leave, it is because he is overworked.

When you get angry it is because you are ill-tempered.

When you boss gets angry, it just happens that his nerves are bothering him.

When you spend your pay-check in twenty four hours, it is because you are a spendthrift...

When you boss spends his pay-check in twenty four hours, it is because he is generous.

When you take a long time to do a job, it is because you are unbearably slow and pokey.

When you boss takes a long time to do a job, it is because he believes in quality workmanship.

When you do not like someone it is because you are prejudiced.

When your boss does not like someone, he just happens to be a good judge of human nature.

When you compliment people it is because you use flattery to get your way.

When you boss compliments people, he is encouraging them.

When you stay in bed until eleven am, it is because you are a lazy good-for-nothing...

When you boss stays in bed a little longer, it is because he is totally exhausted.

Attitude towards life

Your attitude towards life determines the quality of your life.

If logic tells you that life is a meaningless accident, do not give up on life. Give up on logic. - Shira Milgrom

Focus on what you have; on the fact that you have a roof over your head, you can eat healthy foods, you do have a job or even if you don’t, that you are capable of getting a job. Learn to appreciate your friends, family and the environment around you. Unknown

Appreciate the little things you are able to do every day, simply because you can do them. Rather than focusing on a sore ankle or leg when you go for a walk, or the fact that it’s overcast or even raining, appreciate that you can still go for a walk. Unknown

Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience. - Eddie Rickenbacker

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance. Unknown

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. Unknown

Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful it is no worse than it is. - Margaret Mitchell

Most of us will have so little respect for life that we will reach the point of death without ever having lived at all. - Thoreau

Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. - Hugh Sidey

Of Life ...

I believe that life is a journey, often difficult and sometimes incredibly cruel, but we are well equipped for it if only we tap into our talents and gifts and allow them to blossom. - Les Brown

The only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experience. - Les Brown

You are the architect and builder of your own life, fortune, and destiny. - Alfred Montapert

Your life ends when your body stops functioning. However, keeping your body alive alone does not equate to living. Unknown

Know where you are going in life. Purpose is what gives life a meaning. A life that has not a definite plan is likely to become driftwood. Unknown

There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of the life you planned and live the life you were meant to live. Unknown

The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning. - Jiddu Krishnamurti

The road of life can only reveal itself as it is traveled; each turn in the road reveals a surprise. Man's future is hidden. Unknown

Life is easier to take than you think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable and bear the intolerable. - Kathleen Norris

Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices. - Dr. Paul Tournier

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. - Robert F. Bennett

No one ever ruined his eyesight by looking at the bright side of life. Unknown

The ingredients of health and long life, are great temperance, open air, easy labour, and little care. - Philip Sidney

You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough. - Joe Lewis

Life may be short, but there is more than enough time for anyone to achieve something significant. Unknown

The prime time of life is that fleeting moment between green and over ripe. Unknown

No life is so hard that you cannot make it easier by the way you take it. Unknown

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. - Evan Esar

The law of life is ever urging us to grow in every way. Life demands that we adjust to the circumstances of our daily existence. Unknown

In three words I can sum up everything I've ever learned about life: It goes on. - Robert Frost

The shaping of our own life is our own work. It is a thing of beauty, or a thing of shame, as we ourselves make it. - Henry Ware

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. - Kahlil Gibran

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. - Rick Warren

Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way. Unknown

Thoughts on Life

Most of us, swimming against tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement and we'll make the goal. Say "Thank you!" whenever you think of it. Say "Nice job!" to that workman who put extra effort into his task. Say "Atta boy!" to the fellow who is struggling through in the face of odds. You'll get a whale of a lot of joy out of life that way. And people will love you. - Jerome P. Fleishman

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. - M. Scott Peck

The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honour. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved. - Samuel Smiles

Life has a self-correcting mechanism - things that we once thought were terrible have a way of becoming stepping stones for new discoveries. - Raymond Soh

The law of worthy life is fundamentally the law of strife. It is only through labour and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things. - Theodore Roosevelt

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. - Albert Schweitzer

He who wants to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything. Life is made up of little things. True greatness consists in being great in little things. - Charles Simmons

Moment to moment, there are aspects of life that we like, and other we don't. There are always going to be people who disagree with you, people who do things differently, and things that don't work out. If you fight against this principle of life, you'll spend most of your life fighting battles. - R. Carlson

Life is tragic simply because the earth turns and the sun inexorably rises and sets, and one day, for each of us, the sun will go down for the last, last time. - James Baldwin

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark. - Agnes de Mille

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks. - Unknown

Life asks of every individual a contribution and it is up to that individual to discover what it should be. - Viktor Frnakl

I should have no objection to go over the same life from its beginning to the end: requesting only the advantage authors have, of correcting in a second edition, the faults of the first. - Benjamin Franklin

Some Jokes

For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

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A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr Sugarbrown’s daughter.’’

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.’’

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, “Aren’t you Mr Sugarbrown’s daughter?’’

She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”

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Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”

“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”

“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”

“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’’

“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”

“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”

“Well, for one, you’re fifty-two years old. And for another, you’re the principal.’’

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The mother enrolled her precocious six-year-old son at the new progressive school. When the school director interviewed the boy, he asked, “Are you a boy or a girl?”

The child immediately answered, “A girl.”

Quite taken back, the director then asked, “And when you grow up, will you be a man or a woman?”

The child answered, “A woman, of course.”

The alarmed director called a conference with the child’s mother and said, I’m afraid that your child is psychologically impaired and needs professional attention.”

On the way home, the mother calmly questioned her son: “Tommy, why did you say that you were a girl?”

Tommy answered: “When anyone asks me such a dumb question, they deserve a dumb answer.”

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A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?”

Her mother replied, "”No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.”

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”

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Teacher: Simon, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

Simon: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

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Boy: Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.

Mother: That’s nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?

Boy: She just said, “Thank goodness!”

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Teacher: Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.

Parent: What’s that?

Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.

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Said the small boy to the little girl sitting next to him in class, “Are you the opposite sex, or am I”

Long-range View

A man sentenced to death obtained a reprieve by assuring the king he would teach his majesty's horse to fly within the year - on the condition that if he didn't succeed, he would be put to death at the end of the year. "Within a year," the man explained later, "the king may die, or I may die, or the horse may die. Furthermore, in a year, who knows? Maybe the horse will learn to fly."

My philosophy is like that man's. I take the long-range view. - Bernard Baruch

Never Feed The Foxes

Never feed the foxes! What does that mean?

Breaking commandments is like feeding foxes.

In England where we live, my wife and I had heard that foxes were right in town. We wanted to see a fox.

A neighbour told us that if we left food for the foxes we probably would see one. Our butcher gave us some bones. Each night we would place some bones out in the backyard.

Soon a fox came to eat. Then a few more. Now we have at least five foxes racing through our flower garden, digging up the lawn, and leaving a shamble every night, sort of like a furry Jurassic Park.

What started out as a curiosity is now a problem, and sin is much the same. An indiscretion can begin a process that can make a mess of a whole life.

Remember, if you don't start feeding the foxes, they will never tear up your yard. If you avoid making the seemingly small and harmless mistakes, your life will be free of many larger problems later on.

- Hugh W. Pinnock

The Banker And The Fisherman

            

 An investment banker was on the pier of a small coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. His boat was full of beautiful yellow tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on his catch, asking how long it took to catch. The fisherman replied, “Only a short time.”

            The banker asked why not stay out and catch more. The fisherman replied, “I’ve enough fish to feed my family.”

            The banker then asked what did the fisherman do with the rest of his time, he replied, “I will sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening, sip wine with my friends, play my guitar, I have a full and busy life.”

            The banker was not impressed. “I have a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat and from those increased proceeds you could buy several boats and soon have a fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you could control production, processing and distribution by building your own cannery. You could leave this small coastal village and move to the city then to New York where you could run your expanding enterprise.”

            The fisherman asked, “How long will this take?”

            The banker said, “Ten to twenty years.”

            “But what then?”

            “Next you would announce an IPO and sell your stock to the public, making millions and millions. Then you could retire to a small coastal village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings, sip wine and play your guitar with your friends,” said the banker smiling.

            The fisherman looked puzzled, “I don’t understand this, you are suggesting that I should go one big loop so as to end up where I am today, happily fishing on the cliff?”

            Are you trying to be like the man above, going a full circle to end up being at the same place?

Life’s Observations

- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

- No one ever says it is only a game, when their team is winning.

- By the time we got our head together, the body fell apart.

- You cannot have everything, where would you put it all?

- Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

- Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

- Some people are no good at counting calories – and they have got the figures to show it.

- Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he is not there the first time you need him, chances are you would not be needing him again.

- It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

- The mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

- God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

- It is frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

- Time may be a great healer, but it is also a lousy beautician.

- Age does not always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

- When you cannot raise the rent, do not worry. The landlord will usually raise it for you.

- Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

I Am Back

Much as I enjoyed my holidays, it is always nice to come home. Humble as it may be, home is where the heart is – home, sweet home!

Arrived in Singapore - Changi Airport, at 10 minutes to midnight on Thursday, first of May. An uneventful, but long and tedious journey. It was a twenty-nine hours journey, from airport to airport, including lay-overs. Really exhausted by the time I arrived home.

On the whole, it was a very enjoyable, and relaxing home-stay holiday - thanks to the hospitality of my friends. I stayed with friends in Palm Harbour, Tampa – Florida. An affluent but small and quiet town, where the average age of the population is over forty years.

The whole holiday was generally, eating, drinking, sleeping, lazing by the pool and a little shopping. The weather was wonderful. I was told this is the best time to visit.

Did not do much sight-seeing this trip. I did however, went to an Air Show which happened to be on. And on another occasion, I visited Universal Studios. That was interesting.

Now that holidays are over, it is back to reality. Give me some time to settle down, and to settle any outstanding matters, and I will be back with more postings.