I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I’d love to punch in the face. - Unknown
Some people say I’m a mean person, but it’s not true! I have the heart of a sweet man … in a jar, on my desk. - Unknown
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. - Tom Clancy
No violence, gentlemen – no violence, I beg of you! Consider the furniture! - Arthur Conan Doyle
I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew. - Unknown
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run. - Theodore Roosevelt
I wonder how many calories I burn when I run away from my problems and responsibilities. - Unknown
The picture is grainy. But that’s to be expected when photographing bread. - Jarod Kintz
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. - Unknown
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should go to the beach. - Unknown
Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes. - Thomas R. Dewar
Some people won’t admit their faults. I would, if I had any. - Unknown
If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. - Marcelene Cox
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