Humorous Quips

Quip – a witty or funny observation or response, usually made on the spur of the moment, or it could be a clever, usually taunting remark.

The following quips are funny, and at the same time, there is truth in them. Maybe that is why they make us laugh – because we are able to see the humour, and relate to what’s being said. Sometimes, we find it funny because we are caught out, the quip took us by surprise.

I hope there will be at least a few in this collection that bring on a smile. Remember them and go make your friends laugh.

May your days be filled with laughter.

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card. - Mark Twain

Disease increases in proportion to the increase in the number of doctors in a place. - Mahatma Gandhi

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

I’m not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example. - Unknown

Writing books is the closest men ever come to childbearing. - Norman Mailer

You are only old enough to get a tattoo when you think tattoos are juvenile. - Joseph Julius Bonkowski Jr.

Discrimination will lose its power when we all end up beige. - Unknown

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable. - George Ade

Be leery of silence. It doesn’t mean you won the argument. Often, people are just busy reloading their guns. - Shannon L. Alder

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