Monday Humour

Take a break from your problems, troubles, or difficulties to enjoy a laugh. Humour will help you to forget your troubles for a while. Your troubles will be there when you come back, but they might not seen as unsurmountable as before. In any case, you are back, refreshed and in a better frame of mind to tackle them.

Enjoy today’s selection of jokes, and may your days be filled with laughter.

Image created on Canva Grave News

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself, and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know. She met the Fortune Teller’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked, “Will I be acquitted?”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Vote Democratic

Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said, “I never pass up a chance to promote the party. For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizeable tip and say, ‘Vote Democratic.’”

His opponent said, “I have a better scheme, and it doesn’t cost me a nickel. I don’t give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say, ‘Vote Democratic.’”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The Bet

A holier-than-thou type went into a bookstore and ordered two Bibles.
“One is for me,” he explained to the clerk, “and the other is for the office bookie. I am trying to reform him.”
“I hope you succeed,” said the clerk.
“Me too,” said the young man. “The other guys bet me five to three I can’t.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Mr Sugarbrown’s Daughter

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr Sugarbrown’s daughter.”
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.”
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, “Aren’t you Mr Sugarbrown’s daughter?”
She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Not Enough Chairs

A man took four friends to visit a big farm he owned. The visitors entered the tenant farmer’s house and were embarrassed to find the man only had two chairs. They stood around awkwardly until the owner said to the farmer, “I don’t believe you have enough chairs in here.”
“Got enough chairs,” said the farmer. “Just too damn much company!”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Image created on Canva

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ BLOGGER ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thank you for stopping by. Follow me if you find my posts interesting. If you know of anyone who might appreciate them, do recommend the blog to them. Cheers!