On the trucks of a local plumbing company in:
Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
On a fence:
Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.
At the electric company:
We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.
Outside a photographer’s studio:
Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner also.
On motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
At a farm gate:
Beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser and the ninth one has just left.
Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
On an electrician’s truck:
Let us remove your shorts.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:
Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother!
Sign At A Barber's Saloon:
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale ... Cheap ... no strings attached.
Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance.'
Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
A Traffic Slogan:
Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.