humorous Quotes

It's actually not too difficult to get a dog to bring a ball back to you once you learn how. It helps to start by understanding that dogs are just trying to teach you to play their game while you're trying to teach them yours. Who ends up training whom first depends on you. Keep in mind that dogs are naturals as animal trainers, while humans aren't, so you'd better be on your toes when you start to try out "fetch" with a new dog. - Patricia McConnel

Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humour can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day. - Ann Landers

If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world. - C.S. Lewis

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli

Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches. - Evan Esar

I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them. - Unknown

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late. - Frank Sinatra

The best thing about the good old days was that I wasn’t good and I wasn’t old. - Unknown

Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me. - Joshua Michael Levinson

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters. - Unknown

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. - Ellen DeGeneres

What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others. - Diogenes

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