A Couple of Jokes

An inspirational speaker said, “The best days of my life were the days I spent with another man’s wife.”
Audience were in shock and silence. He added, “and she is my mother.”
A big round of applause and laughter followed.
One man who listened to the speech decided to crack this at home. After dinner, he said to his wife, “the best days of my life were the days I spent with another man’s wife …”
After a moment he tried to recall the second line …
By the time he regained his senses, he was in hospital bed, recovering from burns of hot water poured by his wife …
Moral of the lesson: Don’t copy if you cannot paste.

A cop pulled me over and said, “Your eyes are red, have you been drinking?”
I replied, “Your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?”
We laughed and we laughed. I need bail money.