A Genie granted me one wish, so I said, “I just want to be happy.” Now, I’m living in a cottage with six Dwarfs and working in a mine. - Unknown
I just found out the neghbourhood had a meeting about the crazy person on the block. It’s weird that they didn’t invite me. - Unknown
When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say ‘nothing’, it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing. - Unknown
I think the me who buys groceries and the me that actually has to cook the meals are two entirely different people. - Unknown
Procrastination is totally a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today. - Unknown
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body. - Unknown
I am just one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. - Unknown
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I used to just rastinate, but I got so good I went pro.
A woman with a salad walked past me in the restaurant and said, "You know a cow died so you could eat that beefburger." I said, 'If you weren't eating its food it might have lived." - Unknown
I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people's phone numbers is doing now. - Unknown
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