Happy New Year

All too soon, another year has come to an end. I hope it has been a good year for you. If it hasn’t, never mind, you will see the end of it in a few hours’ time. Let’s welcome the New Year, and hope for a better year than the last one.

Wishing you a very Happy New Year! Let there be abundant joy and laughter, good health, and plenty of riches in 2015!

Cheers,

Auld Lang Syne

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTCryF1J54Y

Quote Worthy

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. However to be ignorant of one’s ignorance is the malady of the ignorant. - Unknown

Few things are commonplace in themselves. It is our reaction to them that grows dull, as we move forward through the years. - Unknown

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, while he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere. - Ali ibu-Abi-Talib

Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. - H. L. Hunt

The most difficult lesson to learn is – which bridge in life to use and which one to break off. - Unknown

Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad. - Christina Georgina Rossetti

You can never say sorry too soon, For you don’t know how soon it may be too late. - Cyd Charisse Vallalba

The fool wonders, the wise man asks. - Benjamin Disraeli

A little of what you fancy does you good. - Marie Lloyd

A great flame follows a little spark. - Dante Alighieri

Persuasion is often more effectual than force. - Aesop

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Enemies’ promises were made to be broken. - Aesop

The better part of valour is discretion. - Shakespeare

Add little to little and there will be a big pile. - Ovid

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

People who make history know nothing about history. You can see that in the sort of history they make. - Gilbert K. Chesterton

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. - David H. Comins

Perhaps the angels who fear to tread where fools rush in used to be fools who rushed in. - Franklin P. Jones

Pessimism, when you get used to it, is just as agreeable as optimism. - Arnold Bennett

Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times. - Winston Churchill

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Ernest Benn

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Politics: the art of keeping as many balls as possible up in the air at one time - while protecting your own. - Sam Attlesey

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient. - Milton Berle

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long - Ogden Nash

Provoking, isn't it? that when one is most in need of sensible words, one finds them not. - Charlotte L. Forten Grimke

Public schools are the nurseries of all vie and immorality. - Henry Fielding

Puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth. - Dave Barry

Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are. - Oscar Wilde

Miscellaneous Wit

It’s silly for a woman to go to a male gynaecologist. It’s like going to an auto mechanic who never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

The question asked “Have you ever been convicted of a crime” followed by “Explain why”. So I put “No” and “Good lawyer”. - Unknown

One spelling mistake can destroy your life ...

A husband sent this to his wife: "I'm having a wonderful time. Wish you were her."

  

Yes madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill

A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken looked at him and said, “Don’t do it man … you will never hear the end of it!” - Unknown

A pharmaceutical truck full of Viagra was stolen today. Police have asked the public to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals. - Unknown

You only need two tools in life WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn‘t move and should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, Duct Tape. - Unknown

I have neither Twitter or Instagram. Therefore, I walk around the streets and proclaims to randomly selected what I eat, what I drink, how I have it at home etc. after all, it is important to build networks. So far I have three followers. One is apparently a doctor, the others are police officers. - Unknown 

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam. - George Carlin

Noel Coward: Edna, you look almost like a man.
Edna Ferber: So do you.

Quote Worthy

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all. - Sam Ewing

The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. - Mark Twain

Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already. - C. S. Lewis

Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away. - Arthur Helps

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning. - Catherine Aird

Be always displeased at what you are, if you desire to attain to what you are not. - Saint Augustine

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant. - Anne Bradstreet

Tolerance is another word for indifference. - William Somerset Maugham

A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic. - George Bernard Shaw

The sailor does not pray for wind, he learns to sail. - Gustaf Lindborg

Be wise with speed; A fool at forty is a fool indeed. - Edward Young

Politeness is good nature regulated by good sense. - Sydney Smith

Man knows much more than he understands. - Alfred Adler

They know enough who know how to learn. - Henry Adams

Masters Of Camouflage

These animals and insects are masters of camouflage. See if you can spot them all. Pictures courtesy of www.wimp.com

http://www.wimp.com/animalcamo/

Quote Worthy

Stop holding onto people who keep letting go of you. Pay attention to the faithful people. The ones you don’t have to impress. The ones who always have your back. The ones that love you with no strings attached. - Unknown

When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness. - Eckhart Tolle

Don’t listen to people who tell you what to do. Listen to people who encourage you to do what you know in your heart is right. - Unknown

Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come. - Unknown

You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. - Winston Churchill

To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world. - Taylor Hanson

We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less. - Diogenes

To cook your hare you must first catch it. - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Promote yourself, but do not demote another. - Israel Salanter

You have to be careful about being too careful. - Beryl Pfizer

Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth. - Aesop

Even with a dull axe you can blaze a trail. - Robert Powers 

Fear not for the future, weep not for the past. - Percy Shelly

In our play we reveal what kind of people we are. - Ovid

Practice yourself what you preach. - Titus Maccius Plautus

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at. - Samuel Goldwyn

Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain’t saying anything. - Will Rogers

Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to. - Howard Mumford Jones

Outspoken by whom? - Dorothy Parker when told she was very outspoken

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac Mccleary

Patience often gets the credit that belongs to fatigue. - Franklin P. Jones

Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue. - Unknown

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

People change and forget to tell each other. - Lillian Hellman

People find life entirely too time-consuming. - Stanislaw Lec

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. - Russell Baker

People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they’ve done. - Cullen Hightower

People sometimes forget that a rat race can be won only by a rat. - Paul Palmer

People who are always making allowances for themselves soon go bankrupt. - Mary Pettibone Poole

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs. - Unknown

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Unknown

People who jump to conclusions rarely alight on them. - Philip Guedalla

Jokes

On His Way To A Lecture

           An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 am and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

          The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

          The Officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?

          The man replies, “That would be my wife.”

English Dictionary

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words ‘COMPLETE’ and ‘FINISH’. Some people say there is no difference between ‘COMPLETE’ and ‘FINISHED’, but there is. When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE and when you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED! When your wife catches you with another woman you are COMPLETELY FINISHED and when your wife likes shopping so much are FINISHED COMPLETELY! - Unknown

Bible Salesman

           

          There was an Englishman, Scottish man, and Irishman selling bibles door to door. They had a bet on who could sell the most in a day. At the end of day they met up. The Englishman sold two, the Scottish man, three, but the Irishman who had a terrible stutter said, “I-I-I sa-sa-sa-sold sa-sa-sixty!”

          The other two asked, “How did you do it?”

          He replies, “Wa-wa-when I-I-I na-na-na-knocked at th-th-th-the door, I say: Do-do-do-do you wa-wa-wa-want to ba-ba-ba-buy a ba-ba-ba-bible or sa-sa-sa-should I-I-I ja-ja-ja-just re-re-re-read it ta-ta-ta to you?”

Quote Worthy

Let us be children in faith, in unconditional love, and in happiness. Let us be adults in experience, in compassion, and in wisdom. - Unknown

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers

It is all right sometimes to get fiery and let off steam – as long as you do not let it scorch you or anyone else seriously. - Unknown

You fight when an issue is worth fighting for; otherwise, it is wiser to switch your energy to something else. - Unknown

It is just the little touches after the average man would quit that make the master’s fame. - Orison Swett Marden

If we all told what we know of one another, there would not be four friends in the world. - Blaise Pascal

Sometimes, the only thing to do, is to decide to let go, then watch what happens. - Unknown

A fair exterior is a silent recommendation. - Publilius Syrus

The lamp burns bright when wick and oil are clean. - Ovid

Fools admire, but men of sense approve. - Alexander Pope

Unhappy the land that is in need of heroes. - Bertolt Brecht

Remorse, the fatal egg by pleasure laid. - William Cowper

No mask like open truth to cover lies. - William Congreve

One today is worth two tomorrows. - Benjamin Franklin

The secret to being boring is to say everything. - Voltaire

Lightning

The last of the lightning pictures, taken from the web. Awesome! But as I said, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near these places, when this is happening.

Quote Worthy

Hold your head high, stick your chest out. Look the world straight in the eye. You can make it. It gets dark sometimes, but morning comes. - Unknown

Nobody really knows how smart or talented he is until he finds the incentives to use himself to the fullest. - Sydney J. Harris

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done. - Louis Dembitz Brandeis

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. - Ivern Ball

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. - Unknown

It is not always what you say that makes the difference; sometimes it is the way you say it. - Unknown

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. - Carl W. Buechner

Astronomy, as nothing else can do, teaches men humility. - Arthur C. Clarke

One should eat to live, not live to eat. - Benjamin Franklin

The weak in courage is strong in cunning. - William Blake

After all is said and done, more is said than done. - Aesop

If there’s a way to do it better, find it. - Thomas A Edison

All things are difficult before they are easy. - John Norley

Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it. - Horace

He that hath no cross deserves no crown. - Francis Quarles

Some Short Jokes

Bra Engineer

            An engineer designed a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and stops their nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

            After a news conference announcing the invention, a group of men took the engineer outside and kicked the shit out of him.

Secrets To A Long Happy Marriage

            An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine,while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."

          Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?"

          She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wind."

Who’s Guilty Here?

A wife is dreaming in bed. She suddenly wakes up and shouts, “quick, my husband is home!” Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window!

Winning The Lotto

At breakfast, the husband says to his wife “What would you do if I won the Lotto?

“I’d take half and leave you.” She says.

“Great,” he says. “Here’s 6 pounds. I won 12 pounds yesterday! Stay in touch.”

War Of The Genders

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.”

Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage. 

Quote Worthy

Be as simple as you can be; you will be astonished to see how uncomplicated and happy your life can become. - Paramahansa Yogananda

It is a sheer waste of time and soul-power to imagine what you would do if things were different. They are not different. - Unknown

The passing moment is all we can be sure of; it is only common sense to extract its utmost value from it. - Unknown

It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future and impossible to live in the past. - Jim Bishop

If we keep doing what we’re doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting. - Stephen Covey

It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see. - Winston Churchill 

You will never truly understand something until it actually happens to you. - Unknown

In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. - Deepak Chopra

The more I know myself, the less I am affected by others’ opinions of me. - Unknown

The things that you say about others also say a lot about you. - Unknown

Autumn is  a second spring when every leaf is a flower. - Albert Camus

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

My love is unconditional. Your action is irrelevant. - Unknown

What is now proved was once only imagined. - William Blake 

When you have nothing to say, say nothing. - Charles Colton 

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening. - Franklin P. Jones

One good thing about egotists: They do not talk about other people. - Lucille S. Harper

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothin’ can beat teamwork. - Edward Abbey

One man was so mad at me that he ended his letter: "Beware. You will never get out of this world alive." - John Steinbeck

One more drink and I’ll be under the host. - Dorothy Parker

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. - Josh Billings

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Smauel Johnson

One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one. - Ann Landers

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague. - Robert Burton

Only men who are not interested in women are interested in women's clothes. Men who like women never notice what they wear. - Anatole France

Only some of us can learn by other people's mistakes. The rest of us have to be the other people. - Unknown

Originality is the art of concealing your source. - Franklin P. Jones

Originality is undetected plagiarism. - William R. Inge

Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool. - Jane Wagner

Quote Worthy

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong will not. - Henry Ward Beecher

Do not knock the benefits of relaxation. A refreshed soul can be a truly creative soul, and a truly creative soul is a  productive soul. - Unknown

What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

When you say something cannot be done: Be careful! Your neighbour could have done it already! - Unknown

It is never too late to be what you might have been. Others have done it before you. So can you! - Unknown

We must indeed all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately. - Benjamin Franklin

The bridges you cross before you come to them are over rivers that aren’t there. - Gene Brown

Reason is our soul’s left hand, Faith her right. - John Donne

Pity costs nothing, and it ain’t worth nothing. - Josh Billings

Whatever is produced in haste goes hastily to waste. - Saadi

A man of courage is also full of faith. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Never frighten a little man. He’ll kill you. - Robert Heinlein

The most onerous slavery is to be a slave to oneself. - Seneca

Success isn’t permanent, and failure isn’t fatal. - Mike Ditka

If you never try, you will never know. - Unknown

Lightning

Beautiful pictures of Lightning. But I wouldn't want to be anywhere near them when this is happening. Pictures are from the web.

Quote Worthy

When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better. - Malcolm Forbes

All the strength and force of man comes from his faith in things unseen. He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions. - James Freeman Clarke

Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time but, accepting that whatever happens is the best for this moment. - Unknown

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow. - Robert H. Goddard

The worst person to be around is someone who complains about everything and appreciates nothing. - Unknown

He who postpones the hour of living is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses. - Horatius

People get so used to hearing lies that the truth doesn’t even seem real anymore. - Unknown

A chain is no stronger than its weakest link. - William James

Everything nourishes what is strong already. - Jane Austen 

Fear is a noose that binds until it strangles. - Jean Toomer

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends. - Aristotle

No one knows what he can do until he tries. - Publilius Syrus

Quote Worthy

The glory of a workman, still more of a master workman, that he does his work well, ought to be his most precious possession; like the honor of a soldier, dearer to him than life. - Thomas Carlyle

If we are willing to surrender to seeing things differently through the eyes of love, then we’ll be able to see clearly what it is we need to learn within each relationship. - Unknown

When you’re fed up or stressed about life, just remember, you will be dead and forgotten soon, so nothing really matters. - Ricky Gervais

You cannot save everyone. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter how much you try to help them. - Bryant McGill

There will always be people in your life who treat you wrong. Be sure to thank them for making you strong. - Unknown

Healing comes when we choose to walk away from darkness and move towards a brighter light. - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and focus on what could go right. - Unknown

Make the most of yourself for that is all there is to you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some of our richest treasure may be found in the dark. - Barbara Brown Taylor

A fool sees not the same tree a wise man sees. - William Blake

Better shun the bait than struggle in the snare. - John Dryden

No one ever became thoroughly bad in one step. - Juvenal

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth. - Jean Rostand

Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it. - Unknown

Nothing makes me happier than knowing I can piss you off by just walking into the room! - Unknown

Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbour’s noisy party than being there. - Franklin P. Jones

Nothing produces such odd result as trying to get even. - Franklin P. Jones

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light except for bad news, which obeys its own special laws. - Douglas Adams

Now there is one outstanding important fact regarding spaceship earth, and that is that no instruction book came with it. - R. Buckminster Fuller

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. - Winston Churchill

Nowadays some people expect the door of opportunity to be opened with a remote control. - M. Charles Wheeler 

O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul. - A Sceptic’s Prayer

O, popular applause! what heart of man is proof against thy sweet, seducing charms? - William Cowper

Of course a film should have a beginning, a middle and an end. But not necessarily in that order. - Jean-Luc Godard

Of course I can keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t keep them. - Anthony Haden-Guest

Old boys have their playthings as well as young ones; the difference is only in price. - Benjamin Franklin

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. - Josh Billings

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. - Auric Goldfinger

Love - Quotes

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.. as love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. - Bruce Lee

Love is about relating to another, not losing yourself into that other person. It’s a union of mind, body and spirit in a way that contributes to all that the universe has created. - Millie Mestril

Some people won’t love you no matter what you do and some people won’t stop loving you no matter what you do. Go where the love is! - Unknown

True love is choosing the many things a person did right rather than the one thing he did wrong. True love does not keep the record of wrongs. - Unknown

Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off. It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can. - Unknown 

True love means that you care more about someone else’s happiness than your own. No matter how much pain it may bring  you. - Unknown

Remember, anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storms is where you learn who truly cares for you. - Unknown

You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free. - Thich Nhat Hanh

Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it. - Unknown

When you love what you have, you have everything that you need. - Unknown

Quote Worthy

The question is not whether a doctrine is beautiful but whether it is true. When we wish to go to a place, we do not ask whether the road leads through a pretty country, but whether it is the right road. - Augustus Hare

Diversity and independence are important because the best collective decisions are the product of disagreement and contest, not consensus or compromise. - James Surowiecki

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. - Smauel Johnson

It is not helpful to help a friend by putting coins in his pockets when he has got holes in his pockets. - Elizabeth Bowen

Never try to mess up someone’s life with a lie when yours can be destroyed with the truth. - Unknown

Keep going. Each step may get harder but don’t stop. The view is beautiful from the top. - Unknown

Half the unhappiness in life comes from people being afraid to go straight at things. - William J. Lock

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. - Agatha Christie

He who sings frightens away his ills. - Miguel de Cervantes

The art of pleasing consists in being pleased. - William Hazlitt

If you think that it is not necessary – don’t! - Vincent Thnay

The way out is through the door you came in. - R. D. Laing