Humor

I just bought my husband a ‘Get better soon’ card. He’s not sick… I just think he could be better. - Unknown

A joke is like sex, neither is any good if you don't get it. - Unknown

Some people aren’t just missing the odd screw. The whole freaking toolbox is gone. - Unknown

If you keep refilling your glass of wind before it’s empty, you are technically only having one glass of wine. It’s science. - Unknown

Sorry about the odour. I have all my passwords tattooed between my toes. - Unknown

Come good times or bad, there is always a market for things nobody needs. - Kin Hubbard

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key. - Unknown

If you don’t want to come to my house because I burn sage, that means the sage is working. - Unknown

Don’t tell secrets in the garden. The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beanstalk. - Unknown

I don’t have a welcome mat at my house because I’m not a liar. - Unknown

One minute you are young and carefree, the next minute you know it’s going to rain because your knee hurts. - Unknown

The trick is this: keep your eye on the ball. Even when you can't see the ball. - Tom Robbins

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