Saturday, 2 January 2021

All Puns Intended

Some humour are straight forward. You see, or hear them and you burst out laughing. Some humour are more subtle. You need a second or two, to see the humour. Puns are such examples.

Have a look at today's selection. I hope you like them.

Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
You don't want to press your luck.

What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hareline.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.

What happened when Past, Present and Future walked into a bar?
It was tense.

Why were the Indians in America first?
They had reservations.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

Why didn’t the dendrochronologist get married?
He only ever dated trees.

What building has the most stories?
The library

Will this computer last five years?
Obsoletely!

Dad: Be careful standing near those trees.
Daughter: Why? The Sky’s clear.
Dad: I don’t know. They look kind of shady to me.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially Inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," the manager said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Deja-Moo:
The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

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