Cheeky Humour

Humour has an intellectual as well as emotional element. That is why some people do not share our sense of humour. We are all different. What we find funny, others may find coarse. But that’s okay. It doesn’t matter what kind of humour you like, as long as it makes you laugh.

I hope the following selection of humour will bring on a chuckle, or put a smile on your face.

After marriage, a woman’s sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man’s so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. - Helen Rowland

There is only one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says ‘yes’, you know he is crooked. - Groucho Marx

Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography. - Robert Byrne

Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care. - William Safire

If you can’t blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit. - Unknown

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Unknown

Vegetarians, if you love animals so much then why do you keep eating all their food? - Unknown

I went to an Alcoholics anonymous meeting. Anonymous my ass. I knew everyone there! - Unknown

Don’t tear your hair out over a woman; it’ll be harder to attract the next one if you’re bald. - Evan Esar

Getting old sucks! I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks, now it’s more like a bounced cheque. - Dawn French

Procrastination is totally a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today. - Unknown

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