Witty Sayings

Aphorisms need not be all serious, and teaching life lessons. In fact, aphorisms often come with a pinch of humour, which makes them more appealing to the masses.

Enjoy today's selection of humorous and witty quotes. They are funny, witty, and at the same time, there is quite a bit of truth in them. I hope they bring on a chuckle, or put a smile on your face – at least.

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves. - Brendan Behan

Depend upon it, Sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully. - Samuel Johnson

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is. - Charles Schulz

If you didn't get it from the horse mouth stop listening to the ass who told you. - Unknown

Go the extra mile. There are never any traffic jams on the extra mile. - Brian Tracy

A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. - Oscar Wilde

Did nothing in particular, and did it very well. - William S. Gilbert

Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you. - Austin O'Malley

Said will be a little ahead, but done should follow at his heel. - Samuel Lover

Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense. - Robert Frost

Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the person who will get the blame. - Laurence Peter

Deprived of meaningful work, men and women lose their reason for existence; they go stark, raving mad. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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