Humorous Quips

Life can be stressful and difficult. That is why we need to have a sense of humour, and laughter in our lives. Without laughter, life would be quite intolerable. Where there is laughter, there is joy and happiness.

Here are some humorous quips spoken in jest or without too much thought. Remember the ones you like, and help to spread some laughter. People who spread joy and laughter are well-liked, and welcomed wherever they go.

May your days be filled with laughter.

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Duct tape can’t fix stupid. But it can muffle the sound. - Unknown

The person who sings his own praise is probably a soloist. - Unknown

To ‘catch’ a husband is an art; to ‘hold’ him is a job. - Simone de Beauvoir

Age is a number and mine is unlisted. - Unknown

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent. - Ashleigh Brilliant

Beds last on an average much longer than marriages. - Michel Houellebecq

A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once. - Frank A. Clark

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time, we need wages. - Terry Pratchett

Fate is what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over. - Unknown

Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths. - Evan Esar

I hate to spread rumours, but what else can one do with them? - Singer Amanda Lear

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

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