Humorous Quips

Short and humorous, these quips are easy to remember. You might want to bear a few of these in mind, and impress your friends with your sense of humour. You can share them at a party, bring a spot of sunshine into someone’s life, and brighten up someone’s day. Everyone likes a laugh, and everyone likes a person who can make them laugh.

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

Recession is when a neighbour loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. - Ronald Reagan

An Alibi is a reason with a bad reputation. - Doug Larson

Respect old people. They graduated school without Google or Wikipedia. - Unknown

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly – to someone else. - Ann Landers

I’m free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields

After all is said and done – along comes somebody who wants to know what happened. - Franklin P Jones

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

I think, therefore I’m single. - Liz Winston

He is not totally useless, He can be used as a bad example. - Unknown

Who decided to call it ‘emotional baggage’ and not ‘griefcase’? - Unknown

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