Saturday 23 May 2020

Wacky Humour

Laugh and the whole world laugh with you. When possible, where possible, laugh. It may not add years to your life, but it will surely add life to your years.

Take a look at today’s selection of Wacky Humour. Remember the ones you like best, and go spread some laughter around. No one will ever has enough laughter, or complain that they have laughed too much.

May your weekend be fill with laughter.

All humans are 99.9 percent genetically identical, so don’t even think of ending any potential relationship with “I just don't think we have enough in common.” - Unknown

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. - Tracy Smith

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. - Emo Philips

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Unknown

But the greatest love – the love above all loves, even greater than that of a mother – is the tender, passionate, undying love, of one beer drunken slob for another. - Unknown

For 3 days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but the phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

If the cup is only half full ... I suggest you buy a smaller bra. - Aunty Acid

Life – and I don't suppose I'm the first to make this comparison – is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal. - Neil Gaiman

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to. - Rita Rudner

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