Saturday, 9 May 2020

Paraprosdokians

I hope this selection of paraprosdokians will bring on a smile, at least.

Don’t let ageing get you down. It’s too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

I wonder how many calories I burn when I run away from my problems and responsibilities. - Unknown

Life is too short to hold a grudge. Slash some tyres and call it even. - Unknown

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. - Simpsons

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself. - Oscar Wilde

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Every morning is the dawn of a new error. - Unknown

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. - Oscar Wilde

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news. - Bertolt Brecht

Laughter is the best medicine since you don't have health insurance. - Unknown

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