Don’t let ageing get you down. It’s too hard to get back up. - John Wagner
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx
I wonder how many calories I burn when I run away from my problems and responsibilities. - Unknown
Life is too short to hold a grudge. Slash some tyres and call it even. - Unknown
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. - Simpsons
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker
I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself. - Oscar Wilde
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
Every morning is the dawn of a new error. - Unknown
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. - Oscar Wilde
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news. - Bertolt Brecht
Laughter is the best medicine since you don't have health insurance. - Unknown
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