Witty Humour

Humour has an intellectual as well as emotional element. That is why some people do not share our sense of humour. We are all different. What we find funny, others may find coarse. But that’s okay. It doesn’t matter what kind of humour you like, as long as it makes you laugh.

I hope the following selection of humour will bring on a chuckle, or put a smile on your face. There is a fair bit of truth in them too.

The man who rolls up his sleeves seldom loses his shirt. - Thomas Cowan

There are glances of hatred that stab, and raise no cry of murder. - George Eliot

People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend. - Walter Savage Landor

No guest is so welcome in a friend’s house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Titus Maccius Plautus

A self-made man? Yes, and one who worships his creator. - William Cowper

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. - Henry Boyle

No matter how thin you slice it, it’s still baloney. - Al Smith

Perhaps the angels who fear to tread where fools rush in used to be fools who rushed in. - Franklin P. Jones

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. - Mark Twain

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. - Abraham Lincoln

Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right. - H. L. Mencken

People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think. - George Carlin

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