Witty Aphorisms

Here are some humorous quotes to help put a smile on your face. Some of them have an element of wit. Perhaps that is what makes them interesting – because we are able to see the humour and also able to relate to what’s being said.

Remember the ones you like, and you can go make someone laugh too. You will be very popular then because we all like people who can make us laugh.

When you’ve done something wrong, admit it and be sorry. No one in history has ever choked to death from swallowing his pride. - Unknown

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. - William Castle

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. - H. L. Mencken

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. - Oscar Wilde

Whenever the occasion arose, he rose to the occasion. - Jonathan Brown

Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason. - Jerry Seinfeld

You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. - Winston Churchill

It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs. - Margaret Thatcher

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. - Unknown

Life is too short to worry about what others say or think about you. So, have fun, and give them something to talk about. - Unknown

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence. - Unknown

You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave. - Sydney Smith

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