Cheeky Humour

Always laugh when you can. Laughter might not solve your problems, but it will help to take the edge off your difficult moments. Laughter helps you to enjoy life even when you do not have everything you want. And it doesn’t matter if you revel in the coarsest puns or the raunchiest jokes. As long as you are laughing, you keep the doom and gloom at bay.

Enjoy today’s selection of humour. Remember the ones you like, and you can go make your friends laugh. They might not tell you, but they will be thankful to you for that. We all like someone who can make us laugh.

I came from a real tough neighbourhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody’s fingers. - Rodney Dangerfield

I’m very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences. - Graham Parke

Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. - Woody Allen

Dealing with stupid people is like playing soccer. You can use your head but a swift kick is more effective. - Aunty Acid

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. - Joe E. Lewis

Artificial plants grow best in artificial light. - Regina Griffin

I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type. - Bob Hope

Sometimes I wonder if all this is happening because I didn’t forward that email to 10 people. - Unknown

It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a happy tune. - Woody Allen

I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark. - Muhammad Ali

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don’t want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That’s why I’m constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning. - Jarod Kintz

All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let’s just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer. - Homer

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