Enjoy today's selection of humorous and witty quotes. They are funny, witty, and at the same time, there is quite a bit of truth in them. I hope they bring on a chuckle, or put a smile on your face – at least.
May your days be filled with laughter.
An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. - William Castle
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat. - Unknown
Sometimes, we meet a fool with wit, never one with discretion. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. - Doug Larson
Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell. - Cass Canfield
He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed. - Robert Gronock.
Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit. - Edward R. Murrow
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of. - Burt Bacharach
If you didn't get it from the horse mouth stop listening to the ass who told you. - Unknown
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