Quips

The weekend is here. Time to take a break and enjoy your weekend! Below are some humorous quips. They are funny but at the same time, there is a lot of truth in them. I hope they bring on a chuckle, or put a smile on your face. Have a great weekend!

If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment. - Dave Allen

Friendship is like pee in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it. - Unknown

A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her – as long as it’s a diamond. - Evan Esar

Duct tape can’t fix stupid. But it can muffle the sound. - Unknown

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t. - Louis C. K.

If you can’t blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit. - Unknown

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. So does not having health insurance. - Joe Hickman

The man who laughs has simply not yet had the terrible news. - Bertolt Brecht

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching. - Oscar Wilde

To me, ‘drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it. - Unknown

A joke is like sex, neither is any good if you don't get it. - Unknown

Baseball is fathers and sons. Football is brothers beating each other up in the backyard. - Donald Hall

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