Humorous Quips

Don’t take life too seriously. Relax, have fun and most importantly laugh as often as you can. Life is too short to waste it worrying about things you have no control over. So, laugh as heartily as you can, as often as you can. A hearty laugh will overcome more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.

Enjoy this selection of quips. They are funny but at the same time, there is a lot of truth in some of these quips. May your weekend be filled with laughter.

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members. - David Coblitz

I am in favour of cutting taxes under any circumstances and for any excuse, for any reason, whenever it's possible. - Milton Friedman

Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King

It is easier to make a glass tube pliable than to convince an obstinate woman she is in fault. - William Scott Downey

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

The best beer in the world is the open bottle in your hand! - Danny Jansen

Listen to your elders’ advice. Not because they are always right but because they have more experience of being wrong. - Unknown

How we all want so badly to divorce reality, but that bitch just won’t sign the papers. - Christopher Poindexter

Look about, my son, and see how little wisdom it takes to govern the world. - Axel Oxenstierna

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable. - Fran Lebowitz

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

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