Weekend Humour

Another weekend. The year is rapidly coming to an end, and there are not many weekends left of 2020. I am sure all will agree that 2020 is not the best of years. But hey, if you are healthy and alive, thank your lucky stars that you have escaped the wrath of the pandemic – thus far. Be vigilant and play your part in helping to curb the spread of the virus. Hopefully, by the end of 2021, we will have been rid of the Covid-19. Of course, I would wish it to be earlier, much earlier, but the way people are behaving at the moment, I don’t think the virus is going away anytime soon.

Anyway, as is my wont, my Saturdays’ post are on humour. I believe humour plays an important part in our lives – especially during these difficult and depressing times. We need to have humour, we need to see humour in our lives. We need to laugh, at live, at ourselves. Laugh whenever you can. Spread joy and laughter to all around you, to the world whenever you can, wherever you are. People who bring joy and laughter are often fondly remembered.

I hope you enjoy this week’s selection of wacky humour.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just ‘gets’ me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen. - Stephen Wright

The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It’s the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework. - Jennifer Weiner

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with. - Kathleen Mifsud

Marriages don’t last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?” - Rita Rudner

Life – and I don’t suppose I’m the first to make this comparison – is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal. - Neil Gaiman

Without a doubt... the worst part of being a single woman was having to take care of your own car. - Lisa Kleypas

The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But ... think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses. - Boris

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely. - W. Somerset Maugham

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Nietzsche

There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy … like nailing a jelly to a tree for example. - Unknown

If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names. - Elbert Hubbard

I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep. - Jim Loy

There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

My advice for a person who’s just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, flap your arms…faster. - Jarod Kintz

Twins are so practical … it's always so nice to have a spare! - Liza Prescott

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to. - Rita Rudner

May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine. - Frank Sinatra

Humour keeps us alive. Humour and food. Don’t forget food. You can go a week without laughing. - Joss Whedon

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ BLOGGER ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thank you for stopping by. Follow me if you like to read about Life, Humour, and Quotes. If you know of someone who might appreciate these posts, do share the link with them. Cheers!