Humorous Wit

Here are some humorous and witty quotes to help put a smile on your face. They do that when you are able to see the humour and relate to what’s being said. They are truisms expressed in a witty manner.

Remember the ones you like, and you can go make someone laugh too. Your friends will be impressed with your wit and humour.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he is not there the first time you need him, chances are you will not be needing him again. - Unknown

Chain letters are the postal equivalent of intestinal flu: you get it and pass it along to your friends. - Bob Garfield

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. - Unknown

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. - Mark Twain

With fools, forbear to argue – better strive to wake the dead. - Bhartrhari

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. - Josh Billings

Simply stated, it is sagacious to eschew obfuscation. - Norman Augustine

Be open-minded, but not so open-minded that your brains fall out. - Unknown

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. - Doug Larson

A good sermon leaves you wondering how the preacher knew all about you. - Unknown

Every village has an idiot, every club has a bore, and every party has a clown. - Unknown

So great was the extremity of his pain and anguish that he did not only sigh but roar. - Matthew Henry

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