It doesn’t matter what kind of humour you indulge in, whether you revel in the coarsest puns or dwell on nihilistic black humour. As long as you engage in this type of activity, you keep your mind working, sharp and nimble.
I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. - Father Larry Lorenzoni
Experts say the cost of funerals have risen by fifty percent, they blame it on the cost of living. - Unknown
Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night. - Unknown
If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn’t say Hi to folks, I’d say BOO! - Unknown
I’ve stopped drinking, but only when I’m asleep. - George Best
If it wasn't for procrastination... I'd have nothing to look forward to tomorrow. - Tom Wilson
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earning his salt that he forgets his sugar. - Unknown
When you’ve told someone that you’ve left them a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once. - Samuel Butler
I’m bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because I can speak it silently and without listening and while my back is turned. - Jarod Kintz,
How do you know my dim-witted inexperience isn’t really a subtle form of manipulation used to lower people’s expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to manoeuvre myself within any given situation? - Unknown
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