Humorous Quotes

Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret – like, oh, throwing a book at someone else. - Pseudonymous Bosch

According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead. - David Letterman

You don’t need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other’s waves. - Toni Sciarra Poynter

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it. - Norman MacDonald

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

I’m not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. - Unknown

I know enough to know that no woman should ever marry a man who hated his mother. - Martha Gellhorn

The secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Ignorance can be educated. Crazy can be medicated. But there is no cure for stupid. - Unknown

Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years. - Paul Reiser

Clothes may disguise a fool, but his voice will give him away. - Unknown

Everything comes to him who waits – if he waits till it comes. - Evan Esar

Click Here for more humorous quotes, or Here for the book ‘Of Wit ‘n’ Humour’