Witty Humour

Quotes need not be all serious, and teaching life lessons. In fact, aphorisms often come with a pinch of humour, which makes them more appealing to the masses.

There are also many witty and humorous quotes which have quite a bit of truth in them.

Take a look at today’s selection. Remember the ones you like best, and go impress your friends with your wit and humour.

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. - Herman Wouk

We can’t all be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. - Will Rogers

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets. - Dorothy Parker

Middle-age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash. - Joyce Brothers

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. - Unknown

Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can’t answer. - Charles M. Schultz

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffet

We didn’t actually overspend our budget. The allocation simply fell short of our expenditure. - Keith Davis

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. - Erma Bombeck

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

If you want to go east, don’t go west. - Sri Ramakrishna

Money speaks sense in a language all people understand. - Aphra Behn

Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven. - Unknown

The older generation thought nothing of getting up at five every morning and the younger generation doesn’t think much of it either. - John J. Welsh

Familiarity may not breed contempt, but your worthy thoughts and actions are assured a greater recognition by those of a less close association. - Validivar

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Memories of Singapore

Cavenagh Bridge

Trenggananu Street

Pagoda Street

Orchard Road

Collyer Quay - early 1970s

Collyer Quay - 1970s

All photos courtesy of Jerome Lim - The Long and Winding Road Facebook Page.

Friends and Friendship

Appreciate your friends for their friendship. Sometimes, your friends will surprise you by being there quicker than your family. Close friendships are one of life’s miracles. Of all the people that we met and of all those that crossed our path, only a few will become our close friends. These are what we call bosom friends. They know us intimately - our positive as well as negative traits. And still they stick by us, and accept us for who we are.

Among the privileges of friendship is the opportunity to share some of the deeper feelings of human life – the joys and sorrows. Pain is lessened when shared with a friend who cushions the blow. Joys are doubled when shared with a friend. Because of a friend, we are more confident in life. We are happier, and life is more meaningful.

However, friendships can be very delicate. Friendships are built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You will not be comfortable with someone you do not trust. You will not want to develop a friendship with him. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.

Be respectful to your friends. It is not easy to gain someone's trust. When you do, make sure you don't do something silly and lose the trust, because if the trust is not there, there is no friendship to speak of.

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Ti Plant

There are plenty of these plants around where I am. I haven't paid much notice to them because I didn't find them particularly interesting.

Recently, I found out that that they are called Codrylin fruitcosa, or Ti plant. Other names include palm lily, and cabbage palm. They are an evergreen flowering plant in the family Asparagaceae.

In some countries the Ti plants are used for traditional medicine. I remember, when I was young, my mother used to boil the leaves, and after adding some dried winter melons, told us to drink the water, saying it is 'cooling'. I don’t know if there is any truth in that.

After knowing more about the plant, I find that the plant does have its interesting points. I specially like the vibrant colours of the leaves – from dark glossy green, deep glossy red to other shades of green. I guess that is why they are favoured as ornamental plants.

The plant has fan-like and spirally arranged cluster of broadly elongated leaves at the tip of the slender trunk. It has numerous colour variations, ranging from plants with red leaves to green and variegated forms. - Wikipedia

This is the first time I see them bear fruits. I didn't even realise that they bear fruits.

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An Afternoon Walk

It is always relaxing to see greeneries. A walk in nature refreshes not only the body but also the mind.

It was a hot, humid tropical day. Fortunately, there was a light breeze making walking under the hot sun bearable. The lovely greenery and the clusters of wild weed flowers added to the enjoyment of the walk.

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Callistemon

Callistemon is a genus of shrubs in the family Myrtaceae. Callistemon species havecommonly been referred to as bottlebrushes because of their cylindrical, brush like flowers resembling a traditional bottle brush. There are approximately 40 species of Bottlebrushes within the genus Callistemon.

Bottlebrush flowers are spectacular, distinctive and long lasting. Ranging from crimson reds, bright pinks oranges and yellows, the bright colours are great bird attractors. They are irresistible to nectar-feeding birds and insects.

"The flowers are Inflorescent: that is, they are made up of many tiny flowers, although they appear as one, and the colour comes from their many stamen rather than their petals, which are tiny.” - Plant information

Bottlebrushes are easily grown from seed, or cuttings. They are hardy shrubs. They can grow in a wide variety of soil conditions, and under the full sun.

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Self Motivation

All of us have days when we feel out of sorts, when our spirits and morale need a little lift. It could be our biorhythm, or our energy levels are at a low point. During such moments, a kind word, or a word of encouragement will set us on the right path again.

Here are some motivational and inspirational words to nudge you along life’s journey during your moments of doubt.

You may not need them now, but it is good to bear them in mind for days when things don't seem to go your way, or when the little things irritate you more than they should.

We, who have so much, must do more to help those in need. And most of all, we must live simply, so that others may simply live. - Ed Begley, Jr.

Never be a prisoner of your past. It was just a lesson, not a life sentence. - Unknown

Take the obvious, add a cupful of brains, a generous pinch of imagination, a bucketful of courage and daring, stir well and bring to a boil. - Bernard Mannes Baruch

Learn not only to find what you like, learn to like what you find. - Anthony D'Angelo

Don’t become a wandering generality. Be a meaningful specific. - Zig Ziglar

When you move your focus from competition to contribution life becomes a celebration. Never try to defeat people, just win their hearts. - Buddha

To think outside of the box you must be outside of the box. - Alfreda Doyle

Successful people have cultivated the habit of never denying to themselves their true feelings and attitudes. They have no need for pretences. - David Harold Fink

Everything is temporary. Emotions, thoughts, people and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it. - Unknown

We waste our whole life preparing for the future, not realizing that the only way to be happy is to embrace each moment. - Unknown

Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self. - Eleanor Brownn

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate. - Unknown

Don’t overhaul your life overnight. Instead, focus on making one small change at a time. Over time, those small changes will add up to big transformation. Don’t give up. - Unknown

Care not for being unknown, but seek to be worthy of note. - Confucius

Have the maturity to know sometimes silence is more powerful than having the last word. - Thema Davis

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. - Herman Cain

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Clouds

When I am outdoors, I like to look up to the sky. The sky has my favourite colours – blue, white, grey and all the shades in between. Looking at the sky calms me.

Looking at the sky and the clouds, this thought comes to mind, "A painter’s continuing work in progress." The sky would be the canvas, the brush strokes – that would be the wind, is constantly in motion, adding, subtracting to the scene at hand. Never a dull moment looking up at the sky.

All clouds are made up of basically the same thing: water droplets or ice crystals that float in the sky. They are formed as a result of saturation of the air when it is cooled to its dew point.

We know that all clouds look different. But do you know that there are different types of clouds and they are called by different names? And, if you know enough about clouds, you can predict the weather.

Basically, there are 10 types of clouds

1. Cumulus
2. Stratus
3. Stratocumulus
4. Altocumulus
5. Nimbostratus
6. Altostratus
7. Cirrus
8. Cirrocumulus
9. Cirrostratus
10. Cumulonimbus

Have a look at this website for the different Types of Clouds

I have some pictures of clouds which I identified with the above. I don’t know if I am correct though.

Cumulus clouds?

Stratus clouds?

Stratocumulus clouds?

Nimbostratus clouds?

Cirromulus clouds?

Cumulonimbus clouds?

This video on YouTube tells you about the different types of clouds. Very interesting.

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Sarcasm

Sarcasm is a sharp, bitter, cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt. Some are downright insulting, while some are rude, and at the same time, humorous. Sometimes, people are momentarily stunned by a sarcastic remark. They are not sure whether whoever said it was being funny, or whether they were being rude. They do not know whether to laugh, or to feel offended.

Call them sarcasm, glorious insults, or whatever you can come up with, the following bitter, or cutting expressions, will surely bring on a chuckle, or a smile at least. Enjoy!

Nowadays, you can't call a spade a spade anymore. You have to be creative and come up with terms, or other names for the said spade. In our progressively civilised society, we have to be mindful of our politically correctness. Here are some...

Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

- A beer short of a six-pack
- A few clowns short of a circus
- A few feathers short of a whole duck
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal
- A few peas short of a casserole
- A little wanting in the top storey
- All foam, no beer
- As smart as bait
- Bright as Alaska in December
- Does not have all his cornflakes in one box
- Donated his brain to science before he was done using it
- Elevator does not go all the way to the top floor
- Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train is not coming
- He is depriving some village of an idiot
- He is living proof that man can live without a brain
- He is not the brightest light in the harbour
- He is so dense, light bends around him
- He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle
- His antenna does not pick up all the channels
- His belt does not go through all the loops
- If brains were taxed, he would get a refund
- If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you will get change
- It is hard to believe he beat one million other sperm
- No grain in the silo
- Not the brightest crayon in the box
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
- One sandwich short of a picnic
- Proof that evolution can go in reverse
- Receiver is off the hook
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
- The light is on but no one is home
- The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead
- Too much yardage between the goalposts

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Memories of Singapore

Singapore River - 1980

Singapore River - 1971

Singapore River

Singapore River - 1921

Singapore 1970s

Raffles Hotel

National Theatre -1970s?

Van Kleef Acquarium - 1970s?