Weekend Humour

Another weekend is here. I hope you have had a great week. Otherwise, not to worry. It will be over soon and you can look forward to a better week ahead. Meanwhile, here are some humorous quips. I hope today’s selection will bring on a chuckle, or at least a smile. Enjoy your weekend.

One hundred percent of divorces start with a marriage. - Mark Gungor

Pig-headed stubbornness is the perseverance of somebody we don't like. - Robert Elliot Gonzales

If a man owes me money, I never seem to forget. But if I do the owing, I somehow never remember. - Aristophanes

Prayer must never be answered: if it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence. - Oscar Wilde

Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most. - Ozzy Osbourne

Some people aren’t just missing the odd screw. The whole freaking toolbox is gone. - Unknown

The opera is like a husband with a foreign title: expensive to support, hard to understand, and therefore a supreme social challenge. - Cleveland Amory

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. - Unknown

Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat. - Unknown

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. - Laura Swenson

Jumping for joy is good exercise. - Unknown

If you want to be found, stand where the seeker seeks. - Sidney Lanier

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