Midweek Humour

They say the most wasted of all days is that which one has not laughed. So, laugh and be merry. Don’t waste a single day of your life.

Humour and laughter is the antidote to this stressful life. When possible, where possible, laugh. It may not add years to your life but will surely add life to your years.

If you are having one of those days where you are finding it hard to laugh, have a look at the following. Maybe that will bring on a chuckle, or a smile at least.

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop

The opera is like a husband with a foreign title: expensive to support, hard to understand, and therefore a supreme social challenge. - Cleveland Amory

The rights of the minority must be protected, and the rich are always fewer in number than the poor. - John A. Macdonald, 1865

Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble. - Martin Mull

All the world's a stage, and it's a dead easy guess which sex has all the speaking parts. - Robert Elliot Gonzales

The older generation thought nothing of getting up at five every morning, and the younger generation doesn’t think much of it either. - John J. Welsh

There is only one way to make money at writing, and that is to marry a publisher's daughter. - George Orwell

We should thank God that He did not give us the power of hearing through walls; otherwise there would be no such thing as friendship. - Austin O’Malley

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. - Father Larry Lorenzoni

Even the most staid and respectable husband likes for his wife to think he is a devil among the women. - Robert Elliot Gonzales

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller

Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. - Unknown

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