Saturday, 21 November 2020

Paraprosdokians

Another weekend is here. Time to leave the stress of work behind you. Time to relax and take it easy. Enjoy this selection of Paraprosdokians. Hopefully, they will bring on a chuckle, or at least put a smile on your face. Always smile when you can. Nobody likes to see a sour looking face.

Have a great weekend.

I had a date last night. I really enjoyed it. So, tonight, I am going to try a fig. - Unknown

I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight. - Jarod Kintz

Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald. - Evan Esar

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back home always. - Unknown

It takes a wonderful brain and exquisite senses to produce a few stupid ideas. - George Santayana

Sometimes I step outside and look up at the stars and think to myself … Damn, I love pissing outside. - Unknown

The greatest influence on a child begins with the birth of his parents. - Les Crane

No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. - Channing Pollock

Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. - Johnny Carson

I’m so broke, I can’t even pay attention. - Unknown

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. - Unknown

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