Cheeky Humour

My post on humour is usually on a Monday. However, I will be somewhere in the air this time tomorrow, so I will post the Monday humour today instead. I am going to Malaga, Spain for a six-week home-stay holiday to visit an old friend.

I will have access to the internet. So, I will still be posting while on holiday.

**************************************** They say laughter translates into any language and is contagious. So, when possible, where possible, laugh. Your laughter might be the only ray of sunshine some people see for the whole day.

If, for whatever reason, you find it difficult to laugh at the moment, maybe the following will help to bring on a chuckle or two, or put a smile on your face at least.

Laugh when you can, while you still have teeth. May your days be filled with laughter.

You can’t be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. - Frank Zappa

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their colour. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their colour is unthinkable. - Unknown

Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves and, of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys they’d just walk around naked at all times. - Betsey Johnson

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool that first said: “Quit while you are ahead?” - Unknown

I don’t want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment. - Woody Allen

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem. - A. A. Milne

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. - Mae West

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise. - Noel Coward

Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children! - Unknown

I don’t mind what Congress does, as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses. - Victor Hugo

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip. - Jonathan Carroll

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got Ds in school. Well guess what, I get Fs! - Bill Watterson

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