Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

Enjoy today’s selection of Paraprosdokians. May your days be filled with laughter.

I find it helps to organize chores into categories: Things I won’t do now; Things I won’t do later; Things I’ll never do… - Auntie Acid

Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically. - Unknown

I am not always rude and sarcastic. Sometimes, I am asleep. - Unknown

If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! - Unknown

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. - Cathy Guisewite

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields

The All Day Breakfast is served till 11.30am. - Unknown

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. - Unknown

You look like I need another drink. - Unknown

I am just one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. - Unknown

My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read anything. - Vince the sign guy

Pulled out a nose hair today to see if it hurt... Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the bus, it seems pretty painful. - Unknown

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