If you are having one of those days where you are finding it hard to laugh, have a look at the following. Maybe that will bring on a chuckle, or a smile at least.
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep. Whoever sleeps long, does not sin. Whosoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! - Marin Luther
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. - Anne Lamott
Some people have a wonderful presence, others, a wonderful absence. - Unknown
I live in my own little world. But its OK, they know me here. - Lauren Myracle
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde
In its purest form, dating is auditioning for mating (and auditioning means we may or may not get the part). - Joy Browne
I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. So whenever I forget, it will tell me that my password is ‘incorrect’. - Unknown
It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches. - Daniel Handler
I found a money-back guarantee on a beauty cream. Rushed down to the store. They took one look at me and paid me in advance. - Phyllis Diller
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two Hearts and a Diamond. By the end, you wish you had a Club and a Spade. - Aunty Acid
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