That's Life

Witty humour, or humorous wit. However you see them, they are funny and there is truth in them. Maybe that is what makes them funny – because we can relate to what’s being said.

Enjoy today's selection of humorous and witty quotes.

You know what they say about skydivers, right? There are old skydivers and bold skydivers, but there are no old, bold skydivers. - Jeff Wuorio

When two people meet, each one is changed by the other so you got two new people. Maybe that means – hell, it's complicated. - John Steinbeck

Some women are born beautiful, others achieve beauty, and still others are on good terms with the society editors. - Robert Elliott Gonzales

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you. - Fred Allen

Nobody is perfect but you can’t keep using that excuse to do wrong. - Unknown

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it. - Edgar Watson Howe

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. - Jane Austen

Men and women are natural enemies, like cat and dog – only more so. They are forced to live together for a time, or this wonderful race couldn't go on. - Neith Boyce

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness. - Unknown Author

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.9 a minute. - Unknown

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