My Dear Friends,
The New Year will be upon us soon! I hope all of you have had a good year. If you haven't, don't worry, it will all be behind you soon. Let me take this opportunity to wish all of you a great year in 2017! May all be Happy and Healthy!
Personally, I have decided that 2017 is going to be a great year for me. :-)
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. - James Thurber
Click Here for the evergreen song by Abba - Happy New Year!
You are the books you read, the movies you watch, the music you listen to, the people you spend time with, the conversations you engage in. choose wisely what you feed your mind. - Unknown
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. - Steve Maraboli
When you move your focus from competition to contribution life becomes a celebration. Never try to defeat people, just win their hearts. - Buddha
It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. - Joseph Campbell
Possession of material riches, without inner peace, is alike dying of thirst while bathing in a lake. - Paramahansa Yogananda
There is no dishonour in losing the race. There is only dishonour in not racing because you are afraid to lose. - Unknown
It is not the cares of today, but the cares of tomorrow, that weigh a man down. - George MacDonald
A talent is formed in stillness, a character in the world’s torrent. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Sometimes, the words said by the mouth are not the thoughts said by the heart. - Unknown
Learn to see people for what they are, not who you want them to be. - Unknown
I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back. - Abraham Lincoln
The best boss is the one who bosses the least. - Ralph Moody
More quotes Here
Dear Algebra:
Please stop asking us to find your X.
She's never coming back, and don't ask Y. - Unknown
I took a cab the other day and the driver said to me, "I love my job, I own this car. I've got my own business, I'm my own boss, and NO ONE tells me what to do ..."
I said, "Turn left here." - Aunty Acid
An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the trainer in the gym, “I want to impress a beautiful young girl. Which machine should I use?”
The trainer replied, “Use the ATM machine outside!”
Why are scientists now using lawyers in laboratory experiments instead of rats? Three reasons: (1) lawyers are more plentiful than rats, (2) there is no danger the scientists will become attached to the lawyers, and (3) there are some things rats just won't do.
More Jokes Here
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs.
In the window of a dry cleaner's:
Same day dry cleaning – all garments ready in 48 hours.
Outside a furniture shop:
Our motto: We promise you the lowest prices and workmanship.
In a dental office:
Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephant please stay in your car.
Sign in a picture shop:
Let us put you in the picture and frame you.
Notice in restaurant:
Our cutlery is not medicine so please do not take it after meals.
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
Sign on a newly painted bench:
Wet paint – watch it or wear it.
Sign in London pizza parlour:
Open 24 hours – except 2 am. – 8 am.
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing. - Muhammad Ali
I consider it a mark of great prudence in a man to abstain from threats or any contemptuous expressions, for neither of these weaken the enemy, but threats make him more cautious, and the other excites his hatred, and a desire to revenge himself. - Niccolo Machiavelli
From the loving example of one family a whole State may become loving, and from its courtesies, courteous; while from the ambition and perverseness of the one man the whole State may be thrown into rebellious disorder. Such is the nature of influence. - Confucius
As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. - Henry David
Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. - Kurt Vonnegut
More Food for Thought Here
It's actually not too difficult to get a dog to bring a ball back to you once you learn how. It helps to start by understanding that dogs are just trying to teach you to play their game while you're trying to teach them yours. Who ends up training whom first depends on you. Keep in mind that dogs are naturals as animal trainers, while humans aren't, so you'd better be on your toes when you start to try out "fetch" with a new dog. - Patricia McConnel
Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humour can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day. - Ann Landers
If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world. - C.S. Lewis
There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli
Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches. - Evan Esar
I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them. - Unknown
A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late. - Frank Sinatra
The best thing about the good old days was that I wasn’t good and I wasn’t old. - Unknown
Marriage: I think my wife fell in love with annoying me. - Joshua Michael Levinson
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters. - Unknown
Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. - Ellen DeGeneres
What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others. - Diogenes
For more Humorous quotes click Here
Miracle Oil. I prefer fresh coconuts though. Love them. I am sure I will be eating coconuts whenever I can.
The masses have never thirsted after truth. Whoever can supply them with illusions is easily their master; whoever attempts to destroy their illusions is always their victim. - Gustave le Bon
It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things work. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get. - Confucius
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
It is better to drink the wine of industry from an earthen cup, than the wine of indolence from a silver tankard. - William Scott Downey
The distances between the stars seem brief by contrast to the distances between each of us and his fellows. - Thomas M. Disch
If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly. - Steve Maraboli
Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free. - Robert Tew
You can’t control who knocks at your door but you can control who you let in. - Unknown
No one travels so high as he who knows not where he is going. - Oliver Cromwell
The creation of a thousand forests lies in one acorn. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am not who you think I am. You are what you think I am. - Unknown
Arriving at one point is the starting point to another. - John Dewey
More quotes Here
What is a Pun?
A Pun is a joke or type of wordplay in which similar senses or sounds of two words or phrases, or different senses of the same word, are deliberately confused.
A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence. - Unknown
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. - Unknown
A will is a dead giveaway. - Unknown
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. - Unknown
Constipated People Don't Give a crap. - Unknown
Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. I never thought I'd hear myself say that. - Unknown
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? - Unknown
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. - Unknown
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? - Unknown
Don’t join dangerous cults: practice safe sects. - Unknown
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. - Unknown
Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving. - Unknown
He dropped a computer on his toes and had megahertz. - Unknown
He had a photographic memory which was never developed. - Unknown
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. - Unknown
For more puns click Here
Einstein does not remain attached to the classical principles, and when presented with a problem in physics he quickly envisages all of its possibilities. This leads immediately in his mind to the prediction of new phenomena which may one day be verified by experiment. - Henri Poincaré
Forgive the past. It is over. Learn from it and let go. People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited, disconnected, negative image of a person in the past. See that person now. Your relationship is always alive and changing. - Brian L. Weiss
I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. - Isaac Newton
Get going. Move forward. Aim High. Plan a take-off. Don’t just sit on the runway and hope someone will come along and push the airplane. It simply won’t happen. Change your attitude and gain some altitude. Believe me, you’ll love it up here. - Donald Trump
Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back. - Mitch Albom
More Food for Thought Here
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. - Jerry Seinfeld
I question the value of name tags as an aid to future identification. I have approached too many people who have spent the entire evening talking to my left bosom. I always have the insane desire to name the other one. - Erma Bombeck
Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone. - Job Might
There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? - Conan O’Brien
People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death. - Jessica Simpson
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow
A lie is a lie... unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief." - Christopher Titus
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me. - Bobcat Goldthwait
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. - Evelyn Hendrickson
The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions. - Robert Brault
I have two problems with hard labour: hard and labour. - Jarod Kintz
What good is a smooth tongue without sharp teeth? - Jocelyn Murray
For more Humorous quotes click Here
Good news for some, bad news for others, immaterial for most.
A new study suggests that people who don’t drink alcohol are more likely to die young.
Click on the link to read the article.
http://www.businessinsider.com/abstaining-from-alcohol-significantly-shortens-life-2013-12?IR=T&utm_content=buffere012c&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer&r=US&IR=T
On the other hand, if you are someone who drinks alcohol regularly, you need to read this ...
http://www.collective-evolution.com/2016/03/12/if-youre-someone-who-drinks-alcohol-regularly-you-need-to-read-this/
And also this...
8 warning signs of a high-functioning alcoholic.
https://www.davidwolfe.com/8-warning-signs-high-functioning-alcoholic/
At the end of the day, moderation is the word - in all things.
We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter. - Mark Twain
You cannot force someone to comprehend a message that they are not ready to receive. Still, you must never underestimate the power of planting a seed. - Unknown
Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self. - Eleanor Brownn
Sometimes, giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun, because they missed you the first time. - Unknown
There may be people that have more talent than you, but there’s no excuse for anyone to work harder than you do. - Derek Jeter
You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over. - Richard Branson
It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out: It’s the pebble in your shoe. - Muhammad Ali
Surrender becomes easier when you realize the fleeting nature of all experiences. - Eckhart Tolle
A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free. - Nikos Kazantzakis
Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity. - Horace Mann
The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next. - Mark Twain
It's not how we fall. It's how we get back up again. - Patrick Ness
More quotes Here
He who always prefaces his tale with laughter, is poised between impertinence and folly. - Johann Kaspar Lavater
His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him. - Charles Dickens
However spontaneous it seems, laughter always implies a kind of secret freemasonry, or even complicity, with other laughers, real or imaginary. - Henri Bergson
I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh. - Maya Angelou
I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing. - Herman Melville
I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person. - Audrey Hepburn
I prefer that laughter shall take me unawares. Only so can it master and dissolve me. - Max Beerbohm
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. - Billy Joel
I'd rather write about laughing than crying, For laughter makes men human, and courageous. - Francois Rabelais
If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. - Joseph Addison
It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour. - Charles Dickens
It is a good thing to laugh, at any rate; and if a straw can tickle a man, it is an instrument of happiness. - John Dryden
It may be remarked in general, that the laugh of men of wit is for the most part but a feint, constrained kind of half-laugh, as such persons are never without some diffidence about them; but that of fools is the most honest, natural, open laugh in the world. - Richard Steele
Everyone can be great because anyone can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't even have to make your subject and verb agree to serve ... You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love. - Martin Luther King
I know not what I appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. - Isaac Newton
I think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on. - Nicholas Sparks
Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. - Miguel Angel Ruiz
Each of us, famous or infamous, is a role model for somebody, and if we aren’t, we should behave as though we are – cheerful, kind, loving, courteous. Because you can be sure someone is watching and taking deliberate and diligent notes. - Maya Angelou
More Food for Thought Here
I love women, but I feel like you can’t trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog’s name. Then I said, ‘Does he bite?’ She said, ‘No.’ And I said, ‘Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?’ Liar. - Demetri Martin
When a diplomat says yes, he means perhaps; when he says perhaps, he means no; when he says no, he is no diplomat. - Vernon K. McLellan
All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer. - Homer
Love thy neighbour – and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier. - Mae West
Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose. - Evan Esar
If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done. - Peter Ustinov
Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex. - Woody Allen
There's nothing the matter with Hollywood that a good earthquake couldn't cure. - Moss Hart
A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once. - Frank A. Clark
The uglier a man's legs are the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. - H. G. Wells
We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong. - Unknown
I keep eating for fear I will be hungry. - Mason Cooley
For more Humorous quotes click Here
Click on the link to read the article.
http://www.littlethings.com/reasons-not-to-flush/?utm_source=wimp&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_campaign=healthy
People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don’t suffer anymore. Mindfulness helps you go home to the present. Life is available only in the present. - Thich Nhat Hanh
You are not the only one that makes mistakes or say things that you regret. No matter what people tell you, we’re all just figuring out this life together. - Anthony Gucciardi
The major problems in the world are the result of the difference between how nature works and the way people think. - Gregory Bateson
There is probably nothing more sublime than discontent transmuted into a work of art, a scientific discovery, and so on. - Eric Hoffer
We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality. - Seneca
You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. - Mary Manin Morrissey
If something doesn't go your way, it's probably because you didn't work that hard at it. - Chris Simms
The good composer is slowly discovered; the bad composer is slowly found out. - Ernest Newman
When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. - Donald Miller
Sometimes, the only way to find yourself is to get completely lost. - Unknown
In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. - Janos Arnay
And in today already walks tomorrow. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
More quotes Here
Quotes by Experts, later proved terribly wrong.
Aeroplanes are interesting toys but are of no military value. - Maréchal Ferdinand Foch, 1911
The Edsel is here to stay. - Henry Ford II, 1957
The Titanic is well able to withstand almost any exterior damage and could keep afloat indefinitely after being struck. - P. Franklin, Vice President, International Mercantile Marine, April 15th 1912
I do not consider Hitler to be as bad as he is depicted. He is showing an ability that is amazing and he seems to be gaining his victories without much bloodshed. - Mahatma Gandhi, 1940
If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one. - Dr. W. C. Heuper, National Cancer Institute, 1954
Rail travel at high speed is not possible because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of axphyxia. - Professor Dionysus Lardner, 1830
Nuclear powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality within ten years. - Alex Lewyt, vacuum cleaner manufacturer, 1957
Inventions reached their limit long ago and I see no hope for further development. - Julius Sextus Frontinus, prominent Roman engineer (c. 40-103 AD)
640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates, 1981
The machine gun is a much overrated weapon; two per battalion is more than sufficient. - General Douglas Haig, 1915
I have not the smallest molecule of faith in aerial navigation other than ballooning. - Lord Kelvin, President of Royal Society, 1890
X-Rays will prove to be a hoax. - Lord Kelvin, President of Royal Society, 1895
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin, President of Royal Society, 1896
Radio has no future. - Lord Kelvin, President of Royal Society, 1898
This is the biggest fool thing we have ever done. The bomb will never go off, and I speak as an expert in explosives. - Admiral William D. Leahy, on the atomic bomb, 1945
This fool wishes to reverse the entire science of astronomy; but the sacred scripture tells us that Joshua commanded the sun to stand still, not the earth. - Martin Luther, 1540
I can accept the theory of relativity as little as I can accept the existence of atoms and other such dogma. - Professor Ernst Mach (as in speed-of-sound measurement), 1913
The Internet will catastrophically collapse in 1996. - Robert Metcalfe, internet inventor (date unknown)
There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom. The glib supposition of utilizing atomic energy when our coal has run out is a completely unscientific Utopian dream, a childish bug-a-boo. Nature has introduced a few fool-proof devices into the great majority of elements that constitute the bulk of the world, and they have no energy to give up in the process of disintegration. - Robert Millikan, Nobel prize winner in physics, 1920
More Trivia Here
In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime. It's the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it's the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it’s the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future. - Jodi Picoult
It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on. - Nicholas Sparks
If one wants to be active, one must not be afraid of going wrong, one must not be afraid of making mistakes now and then. Many people think that they will become good just by doing no harm – but that’s a lie … That way lies stagnation, mediocrity. - Vincent van Gogh
If the individual is narrowly concentrated on the goal, to the exclusion of other relevant aspects of the problem situation, he is often unable to achieve a solution. The creative thinker must stand sufficiently detached from his work. - Mary Henle
If you can develop this ability to see what you look at, to understand its meaning, to readjust your knowledge to this new information, you can continue to learn and to grow as long as you live and you'll have a wonderful time doing it. - Eleanor Roosevelt
More Food for Thought Here
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. - Lenny Bruce
When two people meet, each one is changed by the other so you got two new people. Maybe that means – hell, it's complicated. - John Steinbeck
Some McDonald's restaurants are taking reservations on Valentine's Day. They are getting a lot of tables for one. - Conan O’Brien
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield
A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P. Brougham
We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyone's arguing over where they're going to sit. - David Suzuki
I love it when I buy a bag of air and the company is nice enough to put some chips in. - Unknown
The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizener
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it. - Unknown
My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence. - Edith Sitwell
I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. - Woody Allen
A woman who doesn’t wear perfume has no future. - Coco Chanel
For more Humorous quotes click Here
Everyone is Obsessed with Happiness and It’s Making us Miserable. Here’s Why!
Mark DeNicola
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaIPe2F_SMs
8 Mental Shifts to Help Trigger Success and Happiness.
Mark DeNicola
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDeeuoRDhE0
Click on the links to see the videos by Mark DeNicola
Beauty: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. - Ambrose Bierce
Blasphemy: a law to protect an all-powerful, supernatural deity from getting its feelings hurt. - Unknown
Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings. - Oliver Herford
Chemicals: noxious substances from which modern foods are made. - Unknown
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. - Ambrose Bierce
Compromise: such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due. - Ambrose Bierce
Custard: a detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook. - Ambrose Bierce
Cynic: a blackguard whose faulty visions sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. - Ambrose Bierce
Cynic: a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing. - Oscar Wilde
Democracy: the state of affairs in which you consent to having your pocket picked, and elect the best man to do it. - Benjamin Lichtenberg
Destiny: a tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. - Ambrose Bierce
Diplomacy: the patriotic art of lying for one's country. - Ambrose Bierce
Education: that which reveals to the wise and conceals from the stupid the vast limits of their knowledge - Mark Twain
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. - Mark Twain
Egotist: a person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. - Ambrose Bierce
Just an observation: it is impossible to be both grateful and depressed. Those with a grateful mind-set tend to see the message in the mess. And even though life may knock them down, the grateful find reasons, if even small ones, to get up. - Steve Maraboli
It isn’t the incompetent who destroy an organization. The incompetent never get in a position to destroy it. It is those who achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up. - F. M. Young
It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one. - George Harrison
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. - C. S. Lewis
It is the power of creative men to perceive the relations between thoughts, or things, or forms of expression that may seem utterly different, and to be able to combine them into some new forms – the power to connect the seemingly unconnected. - William Plomer
More Food for Thought Here
I found a money back guarantee on a beauty cream. Rushed down to the store. They took one look at me and paid me in advance. - Phyllis Diller
So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker. - Holly Hood
The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It’s the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework. - Jennifer Weiner
The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from birth until you fall in love. - Unknown
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. - Jane Austen
When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone. - Tennessee Williams
We all want to be the best at something. Trouble is, some people are only the best at being second best. - Jarod Kintz
Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka. - Jim Butcher
Money won’t make you happy … but everybody wants to find out for themselves. - Zig Ziglar
Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths. - Evan Esar
I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist. - Gena Showalter
A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job. - Ella Harris
For more Humorous quotes click Here
Do you talk to yourself?
It turns out - people who talk to themselves aren't crazy, they're geniuses.
Click on the link to read the article by Grayson Berman
Odd thing about death ... it reaffirms life. - Rita Mae Brown
No one knows whether death, which people fear to be the greatest evil, may not be the greatest good. - Plato
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. - Harriet Beecher Stowe
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. - Mark Twain
The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
The world's an inn, and death the journey's end. - John Dryden
Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James Byrnes
When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time. - Laurie Halse Anderson
While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die. - Leonardo da Vinci
Men fear death, as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other. - Francis Bacon
A man begins to die when he ceases to expect anything from tomorrow. - Abraham Miller
A man is not completely born until he is dead. - Benjamin Franklin
All interest in disease and death is only another expression of interest in life. - Thomas Mann
All that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity. - William Shakespeare
As soon as one is born, one starts dying. - Luigi Pirandello
More on Death Death
One man may hit the mark, another blunder; but heed not these distinctions. Only from the alliance of the one, working with and through the other, are great things born. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Nothing that is possible in spirit is impossible in flesh and blood. Nothing that man can think is impossible. Nothing that man can imagine is impossible of realization. - Wallace D. Wattles
The difficult is that which can be done immediately; the impossible that which takes a little longer. - George Santayana
A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could. - Unknown
No race can prosper till it learns there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. - Booker T. Washington
If you don’t experience dark clouds, rain and storms, there is no way of measuring sunshine. - James Hardy
In war, the strong make slaves of the weak, and in peace the rich makes slaves of the poor. - Oscar Wilde
There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. - Jane Austen
He that will not when he may, when he will he shall have nay. - Robert Burton
When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn. - John Wesle
All things truly wicked start from an innocence. - Ernest Hemingway
If you aren’t going all the way, why go at all? - Joe Namath
More quotes Here
The funny English language:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
The funny English language II:
● There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; either apple nor pine in pineapple.
● English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
● Quicksand can work slowly.
● Boxing rings are square.
● A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
9 Common Things Your Body Does That You May Not Have Realized Are Defence Mechanisms
Click on the link to find out.
The greatest of characters, no doubt, would be he, who, free of all trifling accidental helps, could see objects through one grand immutable medium, always at hand, and proof against illusion and time, reflecting every object in its true shape and colour through all the fluctuation of things. - Johann Caspar Lavater
One should act in consonance with the way of heaven and earth, which is enduring and eternal. The superior man perseveres long in his course, adapts to the times, but remains firm in his direction and correct in his goals. - I Ching
Our success at friendship, business, sports, love – indeed, at nearly every enterprise we attempt – is largely determined by our self-image. People who have a confidence in their personal worth seem to be magnets for success and happiness. - Alan Loy McGinnis
My message, especially to young people is to have courage to think differently, courage to invent, to travel the unexplored path, courage to discover the impossible and to conquer the problems and succeed. These are great qualities that they must work towards. - A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour… If at my convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? - Charlotte Brontë
More Food for Thought Here
Men aren't really complicated ... They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. And we spend hours trying to analyze what they've said, when really it's obvious. - E. L James
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success. - Robert Orben
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. - Johnny Carson
I don't believe the kindliest of men ever learned about the death of his doctor without a feeling of smugness. - Richard Gordon
In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of the publicity. - Lauren Bacall
No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. - Robert Lynd
People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn’t. - Christopher Paolini
Just my luck! When my ship came in, I was stuck at the airport! - Max Kauffmann
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. - Helen Rowland
My weaknesses have always been food and men – in that order. - Dolly Parton
I failed to make the chess team because of my height. - Woody Allen
A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real. - Harry Styles
For more Humorous quotes click Here
If you are afraid of failure you don’t deserve to be successful! - Charles Barkley
If you train yourself to listen to your intuition and to follow its bidding, you will greatly increase your percentage of success in life. - Harold Sherman
In everything the ends well defined are the secret of durable success. - Victor Cousins
In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. - Nikos Kazantzakis
Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Many people dream of success. To me, success can only be achieved through repeated failure and introspection. - Soichiro Honda
No one succeeds without effort… Those who succeed owe their success to perseverance. - Ramana Maharshi
People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. - Dale Carnegie
Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers. - Anthony Robbins
Success breeds confidence. - Beryl Markham
Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall. - Oliver Goldsmith
Success is buried on the other side of frustration. - Anthony Robbins
Success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey. - Alex Noble
Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation and inspiration. - Evan Esar
More on Success Here
A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free. - Arthur Schopenhauer
If you want wisdom, empty your heart of ignorance. If you want contentment, empty your heart of greed. If you want serenity, empty your heart of ill will. - Buddha
One must have the time to look, to have the patience to hear what the material has to say… and then an openness to let it come to you. - Barbara McClintock
We, who have so much, must do more to help those in need. And most of all, we must live simply, so that others may simply live. - Ed Begley, Jr.
Sometimes, it only takes one person to change your life. One to be there for you, to love you, to believe in you. It only takes one. - Unknown
Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us. - Rainer Rilke
You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. - Amy Bloom
No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. - Faraaz Kazi
It is at all times more easy to make enemies than friends. - George Washington
The true way to gain much, is never to desire to gain too much. - Francis Beaumont
How something appears is always a matter of perspective. - Unknown
Act the way that you want to feel. - Gretchen Rubin
More quotes Here
The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people. - Randy Pausch
Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there’s all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish what can and cannot be helped; acceptance makes the distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens. - Arthur Gordon
Rain makes me feel less alone. All rain is, is a cloud- falling apart, and pouring its shattered pieces down on top of you. It makes me feel good to know I’m not the only thing that falls apart. It makes me feel better to know other things in nature can shatter. - Lone Alaskan Gypsy
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity. - Christopher Morley
People never fail to amaze me. They face the unimaginable with a shot of grace and a rush of adrenaline; they steel their nerves; they summon their cool or anger or faith or whatever it takes to pull them through, and they go on to live another day. - Oprah Winfrey
A 24-year-old boy seeing out from the train’s window shouted, “Dad, look! The trees are going behind!”
Dad smiled. A young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24-year -old’s childish behaviour with pity.
Suddenly he again exclaimed, “Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man, “Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?”
The old man smiled and said, “I did and we are just coming from the hospital. My son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.”
Moral of the story:
Every single person on the planet has a story. Don’t judge people before you truly know them. The truth might surprise you.
More parables Here
Do you pee in your showers? Here are five reasons why you should pee in your shower.
https://www.davidwolfe.com/5-reasons-pee-in-shower/
Click on the link to read the article.
The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. - Pearl S. Buck
The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man’s life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die. - George R.R. Martin
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind. The greatest quality is seeking to serve others. The greatest effort is not concerned with results. The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances. The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go. - Atisha
The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. The trite subjects of human efforts, possessions, outward success, luxury have always seemed to me contemptible. - Albert Einstein
The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn’t indicate or promise, and which the other kind couldn’t detect. - Mark Twain
I don’t think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups. - Rita Rudner
Once in a while our school has half days, and the teachers spend the afternoon ‘in service,’ which I think must be a group therapy for having to deal with us. - Neal Shusterman
Some women are born beautiful, others achieve beauty, and still others are on good terms with the society editors. - Robert Elliott Gonzales
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. - George Bernard Shaw
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damn good. - Woody Allen
Ten gods cannot change the opinion of one fool, especially if another fool agrees with him. - Abraham Miller
Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald. - Evan Esar
A good friend will help you move, a best friend will help you move a dead body. - Unknown
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. - Johnny Carson
Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry George Bohn
A Man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West
No one dances sober, unless he is insane. - Cicero
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In civilized life, where the happiness, and indeed almost the existence, of man depends so much upon the opinion of his fellow-men, he is constantly acting a studied part. The bold and peculiar traits of native character are refined away or softened down by the levelling influence of what is termed good-breeding, and he practises so many petty deceptions and affects so many generous sentiments for the purposes of popularity that it is difficult to distinguish his real from his artificial character. - Washington Irving
Life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess. And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess. These people are your true friends in life. They are the only ones who matter. - Unknown
Ineffective people live day after day with unused potential. They experience synergy only in small, peripheral ways in their lives. But creative experiences can be produced regularly, consistently, almost daily in people's lives. It requires enormous personal security and openness and a spirit of adventure. - Stephen Covey
More quotes on Life Here
Let people do what they need to do to make them happy. Mind your own business and do what you need to do to make you happy. - Leon Brown
It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. - Dale Carnegie
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - Marcel Proust
Man needs, for his happiness, not only the enjoyment of this or that, but hope and enterprise and change. - Bertrand Russell
Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. - Helen Keller
Maybe happiness is this: not feeling that you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else. - Eric Weiner
One of the simplest ways to stay happy is letting go of the things that make you sad. - Unknown
Resolve to keep happy and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. - Helen Keller
Simplicity is extremely important for happiness. Having few desires, feeling satisfied with what you have, is very vital. - The Dalai Lama
Social scientists have found that the fastest way to feel happiness is to practice gratitude. - Chip Conley
The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things. - Henry Ward Beecher
The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances. - Martha Washington
More on Happiness Here
It is the obvious which is so difficult to see most of the time. People say 'It's as plain as the nose on your face.' But how much of the nose on your face can you see, unless someone holds a mirror up to you? - Isaac Asimov
For every positive change you make in your life, something else also changes for the better – it creates a chain reaction. - Leon Brown
The great and curious truth of the human experience is that selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself. - David McCullough Jr.
A positive attitude may not solve every problem but it makes solving any problem a more pleasant experience. - Grant Fairly
Not everyone is meant to be in your future. Some people are just passing through to teach you lessons in life. - Unknown
Don’t close the book when bad things happen in your life. Just turn the page and begin a new chapter. - Unknown
It is much better to do things you cannot explain than explain things you cannot do. - Nassim Taleb
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible, is music. - Aldous Huxley
No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world. - John Keats
One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time. - John Wanamaker
People remain what they are even if their faces fall apart. - Bertolt Brecht
I am a part of all that I have met. - Alfred Lord Tennyson
More quotes Here
These 7 things will happen when you start doing planks every day. Sounds and looks easy. Definitely worth a try.
Click on the link to read the article.
http://simplecapacity.com/2016/03/start-doing-planks-every-day/
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
Advertisement in a Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale ... Cheap ... no strings attached.
Ad in a Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung at a Time!
Seen on a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. More the Success, More the Relatives.
Sign in a Bar:
Those of You Who Are Drinking to Forget, Please Pay in Advance.
Sign in Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants to Learn to Drive, Don't Stand in Her Way.
Sign in a shop corner introducing new products:
Getting Caught Is the Mother of Invention.
Sign in a Hospital ward:
Laugh and the World Laughs with You, Snore and You Sleep Alone.
Sign at a Barber's Saloon:
We Need Your Heads to Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan:
Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They Are Not Old Enough, Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign in a Restaurant:
All Drinking Water in This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed by the Manager.
Church sign:
Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet Him.
Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it. - Wilfred Peterson
Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives. Man's life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of his self. - B.R. Ambedkar
Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used anonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us. - Jane Austen
To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect. - Criss Jami
Today expect something good to happen to you no matter what occurred yesterday. Realize the past no longer holds you captive. It can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let the past go. A simply abundant world awaits. Sarah Ban Breathnach
More Food for Thought Here
If somebody says “I love you” to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which the pistol holder requires? “I love you, too.” - Kurt Vonnegut
I love the marriage ceremony. I love the honeymoon phase. I just don't want to be married. I'm not marriage material, but I am a very good honeymooner. - Fern Michaels
How happy is it for us, that the admiration of others should depend so much more on their ignorance than our perfection! - Fulke Greville
I never have tantrums. If anything makes me mad, I’m silent. If I’m not talking, leave me alone. - Pat Nixon
My advice for a person who’s just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap your arms…faster. - Jarod Kintz
Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash. - Joyce Brothers
A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her – as long as it's a diamond. - Evan Esar
Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes. - Benny Bellamacina
Don’t let people drive you crazy when you know it’s in walking distance. - Unknown
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting. - Billy Rose
Adversity causes some people to break; others to break records. - Unknown
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You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Gautama Buddha
Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused. - Alan Cohen
If you love someone, when it's the most real, the most important thing in your life, it's not enough to coast. You need to dig in those footers, start building on that base. You want something to last, you put your back into it. - Nora Roberts
Most people know the sheer wonder that goes with falling in love, how not only does everything in heaven and earth become new, but the lover himself becomes new. It is literally like the sap rising in the tree, putting forth new green shoots of life. - Caryll Houselander
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. - Fred Allen
More on Love Here
A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special. - Nelson Mandela
The best things said come last. People will talk for hours saying nothing much and then linger at the door with words that come with a rush from the heart. - Alan Alda
If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards. - Paul Bryant
There is no picture so beautiful as smiling, bright-eyed, happy children; no music so sweet as their clear and ringing laughter. - P. T. Barnum
People of too much sentiment are like fountains, whose overflow keeps a disagreeable puddle about them. - Henry Ward Beecher
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - J.R.R. Tolkien
The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it. - Lou Holtz
He who studies without passion will never become anything more than a pedant. - Stefan Zweig
Nothing is too high for the daring of mortals: we storm heaven itself in our folly. - Horace
Never give up! Failure and rejection are only the first step to succeeding. - Jim Valvano
Abuse is the weapon of the vulgar. - Samuel Griswold Goodrich
Implementation beats oration. - Aesop
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Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve Inner Peace is to finish all the things you have started.
So, I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets.
Yu haf no idr ho gud I fel.
Ladies, if you are pregnant, and you know your baby will be a boy, consider naming him ’Gotham’! That way when he starts crying in the middle of the night, all you have to do is turn to your man and whisper, “Gotham needs you.” It won’t matter if it’s the first time or the hundredth he’s hearing it, he will get up and take care of business and you can roll over and get your well-deserved sleep!
More Jokes Here
As the sun rules the day and the moon governs the night, so too, we are connected by: the air that we breathe, light that we see and the darkness that follows. Life is too short to waste it on disagreements. Surely, we can all agree to disagree. So let us find a common ground, form a union and spread joy, happiness and freedom around the world for the benefit of you, me and the future generations to come. - Raymond Beresford Hamilton
To those who see with loving eyes, life is beautiful. To those who speak with tender voices, life is peaceful. To those who help with gentle hands, life is full. And to those who care with compassionate hearts, life is good beyond all measure. - Unknown
The most beautiful experience we can have is the most mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. - Albert Einstein
The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we are in control of our own existence. In some ways we are, in some ways we’re not. We are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence. - Paul Auster
For more Food for Thought click Here
Lawyers enjoy a little mystery, you know. Why, if everybody came forward and told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth straight out, we should all retire to the workhouse. - Dorothy L. Sayers
I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. - George H. W. Bush
Nothing in my life has ever made me want to commit suicide more than people’s reaction to my trying to commit suicide. - Emilie Autumn
My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying. - Unknown
Always remember this: ‘A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses’. - John Lennon
A fool and his money are soon parted, but it is remarkable how many fools have money to part from. - Edgar Guest
Only in this world do we laugh: in hell, it won’t be possible; and in heaven, it won't be proper. - Jules Renard
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation ... The other eight are unimportant. - Henry Miller
A woman is not written in braille. You don’t have to touch her to know her. - Unknown
Marriage is like a book. The whole story takes place between the covers. - Mae West
He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed. - Robert Gronock
If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all. - Albert King
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Learn how to be respectful to your friends, don’t just start arguments with them and don’t tell them the reason, always remember your friends will be there quicker than your family. Learn to remember you got great friends, don’t forget that and they will always care for you no matter what. Always remember to smile and look up at what you got in life. - Marilyn Monroe
You can go through life and make new friends every year – every month practically – but there was never any substitute for those friendships of childhood that survive into adult years. Those are the ones in which we are bound to one another with hoops of steel. - Alexander McCall Smith
It’s important to make friendships that are deeper than gossiping and drinking, and smoking, and going out. Make friends who you can go get breakfast with, make friends you can cry with, make friends who support your life goals and believe in you. - Unknown
A sincere friend conceals all your deformities, deceives and convince others that you are extremely perfect, the insincere will tell the truth of destruction, leave you open for others to glare and laugh. - Michael Bassey Johnson
Friendship – my definition – is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble. - Stieg Larsson
More quotes on Friends and Friendship Here
It’s so important to realize that every time you get upset, it drains your emotional energy. Losing your cool makes you tired. Getting angry a lot messes with your health. - Joyce Meyer
A person is a novel: you don't know how it will end until the very last page. Otherwise it wouldn't be worth reading to the very end. - Yevgeny Zamyatin
The fact that you have been knocked down is interesting, but the length of time you remained down is important. - Austin O’Malley
If you don’t invest very much, then defeat doesn’t hurt very much and winning is not very exciting. - Dick Vermeil
The attempt is all the wedge that splits its knotty way betwixt the impossible and possible. - Alice Cary
People have a tendency to rationalize what they can, and forget what they can't. - Richie Tankersley Cusick
When my absence doesn’t alter your life, then my presence has no meaning in your life. - Unknown
We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down. - Kurt Vonnegut
Only once you have carried your own water, will you learn the value of every drop. - Unknown
Never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. - Winston Churchill
Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation. - Unknown
An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding. - Robert Louis Stevenson
More quotes Here
What is a Pun?
A Pun is a joke or type of wordplay in which similar senses or sounds of two words or phrases, or different senses of the same word, are deliberately confused.
Pun
A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial. - Jimmy Fallon
A pun is the lowest form of humour, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson
Divorce is the price people pay for playing with matches. - Evan Esar
Every dog has his day, unless he loses his tail, then he has a weak-end. - June Carter Cash
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide. - Erma Bombeck
I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot. - Unknown
If there were an international butt competition, Eric would win, hands down – or cheeks up. - Charlaine Harris
She used to be a schoolteacher, but she has no class now. - Fred Allen
As we understand it, the surest way to make a living by the pen is to raise pigs. - Robert Elliott Gonzales
Why should you never iron a four leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck. - Unknown
A bicycle can't stand alone. It's two tired. - Unknown
A boiled egg is hard to beat. - Unknown
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. - Unknown
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. - Unknown
A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation. - Unknown
Humility does not mean that conceit doesn't arise in the mind; it means that conceit is met with the wisdom of not taking the inflation personally. Usually when we are feeling inflated and conceited, we believe the ego's insistence that we are better or worse than others. Humility is a practice that allows us to override that insistence and arrive at a wise relationship to the ego. It takes constant vigilance, because the mind is constantly creating (and attempting to give permanence to) a self out of that aspect of our experience that we call ego, constantly creating conceit. - Noah Levine
Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope as old as your despair. In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber. So long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage, so long are you young. When your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and then only, are you grown old. And then, indeed as the ballad says, you just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur
The way we respond to criticism pretty much depends on the way we respond to praise. If praise humbles us, then criticism will build us up. But if praise inflates us, then criticism will crush us; and both responses lead to our defeat. - Warren Wiersbe
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Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. - Dave Barry
A new study found that most people can't go 10 minutes without lying. But since the study took 20 minutes nobody knows what to believe. - Jimmy Fallon
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings
Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. - H. L. Mencken
Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright. - Laurell K. Hamilton
Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment. - Jarod Kintz
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. - Frank Zappa
Dating a tennis player is risky - love means nothing to us. - Anna Kournikova
It’s a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating. - Regina Griffin
I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing. - Mae West
A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him. - Evan Esar
Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand. - Jay Leno
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I know quite certainly that I myself have no special gift. Curiosity, obsession and dogged endurance combined with self-critique have brought me my ideas. - Albert Einstein
As you get older you will understand more and more that it’s not about what you look like or what you own, it’s all about the person you’ve become. - Unknown
People think of the inventor as a screwball, but no one ever asks the inventor what he thinks of other people. - Charles F. Kettering
If you look in the eyes of the young, you see flame. If you look in the eyes of the old, you see light. - Victor Hugo
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows, nor judge all he sees. - Benjamin Franklin
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. - A. A. Milne
The life of the nation is secure only while the nation is honest, truthful, and virtuous. - Frederick Douglass
How much I missed, simply because I was afraid of missing it. - Paulo Coelho
Sometimes the things that hurt you the most, teach you the greatest lessons. - Unknown
Never Let anyone tell you that you can’t; show them that you can. - Gloria Mallette
It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan. - Eleanor Roosevelt
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. - Martin Rees
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Mosquito: an insect that makes you like flies better. - Unknown
Nillionaire: a person with little or no money. - Unknown
Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. - Unknown
Raisin: a grape with a sunburn. - Unknown
Secret: something you tell to one person at a time. - Unknown
Tomorrow: one of the greatest labor saving devices of today. - Unknown
Toothache: the pain that drives you to extraction. - Unknown
Transvestite: a guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. - Unknown
Wrinkles: something other people have, similar to my character lines. - Unknown
Yawn: an honest opinion openly expressed without a word. - Unknown
Academe: an ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. - Ambrose Bierce
Academy: a modern school where football is taught. - Ambrose Bierce
Acquaintance: a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. - Ambrose Bierce
Ambition: an overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. - Ambrose Bierce
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We seldom realize, for example that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society. - Alan W. Watts
So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. - Stephen Chbosky
We can help a person to be himself by our own willingness to steep ourselves temporarily in his world, in his private feelings and experiences. By our affirmation of the person as he is, we give him support and strength to take the next step in his own growth. - Clark Moustakas
We have come out of the time when obedience, the acceptance of discipline, intelligent courage, and resolution were most important, into that more difficult time when it is a man’s duty to understand his world rather than to simply fight for it. - Ernest Hemingway
Vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, ‘This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more important, all that I am not. - Ashton Kutcher
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Adam was but human – this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. - Mark Twain
I like to call in sick to work at places where I've never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don't work there, I tell them I'd like to. But not today, as I'm sick. - Jarod Kintz
My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there. - Ron Richards
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them! - Margaret Mitchell
Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer. - Evan Esar
Never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth. - Henrik Ibsen
It’s been so long since I made love, I can’t even remember who gets tied up. - Joan Rivers
If you have everything under control, you’re not moving fast enough. - Mario Andretti
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. - W.C. Fields
Artificial plants grow best in artificial light. - Regina Griffin
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All times are changing times, but ours is one of massive, rapid moral and mental transformation. Archetypes turn into millstones, large simplicities get complicated, chaos becomes elegant, and what everybody knows is true turns out to be what some people used to think. - Ursula K. Le Guin
Change does not change tradition, it strengthens it. Change is a challenge and an opportunity, not a threat. - Prince Philip
Change does not fail to occur because of insincerity. The heart patient is not insincere about his wish to keep living, even as he reaches for another cigarette. Change fails to occur because we mean both things. It fails to occur because we are a living contradiction. - Robert Kegan & Lisa Laskow Lahey
Change doth unknit the tranquil strength of men. - Matthew Arnold
Change has to come for life to struggle forward. - Helen Hollick
Change is certain. Peace is followed by disturbances; departure of evil men by their return. Such recurrences should not constitute occasions for sadness but realities for awareness, so that one may be happy in the interim. - I Ching
Change is inevitable. Change is constant. - Benjamin Disraeli
Change is mandatory for extraordinary results. - Unknown
Change is never easy … there’s always a cost. - Unknown
Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life. - Alvin Toffler
Change is not something that we should fear. Rather, it is something that we should welcome. For without change, nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom, and no one in this world would ever move forward to become the person they’re meant to be. - Unknown
Change is the end result of all true learning. - Leo Buscaglia
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No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen. - Epictetus
It is often better to have a great deal of harm happen to one than a little; a great deal may rouse you to remove, what a little will only accustom you to endure. - Fluke Greville
To make one person the centre of your world is bound to end in disaster. There are too many factors outside your control. - Alexandra Adornetto
A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it. - Lionel Shriver
People who do not understand you will never settle for any proof, and people who appreciate you do not need any proof. - Seth
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. - Anais Nin
One of the first businesses of a sensible man is to know when he is beaten, and to leave off fighting at once. - Samuel Butler
I will not follow where the path may lead; instead I will go where there is no path and leave a trail. - Muriel Strode
No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself. - Conrado I. Generoso
The most exquisite folly is made of wisdom spun too fine. - Benjamin Franklin
He who would greatly deserve must greatly dare. - Washington Irving
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. - J.K. Rowling
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